T-Shirts & Apparel

Lawnworld Doughboys may or may not be sentient, but they sure are tasty! Grass-fed nom nom nommer stands about 4" tall in his silkscreened meadow. Deep Forest green shirt.

Lawnworld Doughboys may or may not be sentient, but they sure are tasty! Grass-fed nom nom nommer stands about 4" tall in his silkscreened meadow. Pear Green shirt.

Lawnworld Doughboys may or may not be sentient, but they sure are tasty! Grass-fed nom nom nommer stands about 4" tall in his silkscreened meadow. Stonewashed Green shirt.

Navy blue 100% cotton t-shirt with RfV campaign logo screenprintd on front. Goats.com URL on sleeve. Fictional elections deserve fictional candidates. Design is approx. 7" wide.

Who says nuclear conflict can't be adorable? Four colors on a brown shirt, approx. 7" wide.

Recent studies show that giant squid feed almost exclusively on food-shaped vehicles that accidentally fall into the ocean. This is true! You can trust me. Teal squid on an asphalt gray shirt, approx. 9" wide.

Recent studies show that giant squid feed almost exclusively on food-shaped vehicles that accidentally fall into the ocean. This is true! You can trust me. Teal squid on a teal shirt, approx. 9" wide.

Elephants never forget, except maybe occasionally when testifying to congress and they do not want to incriminate themselves but cannot take the 5th because then everyone would have to recognize that something sketchy is going on. 7" wide on blue state cotton.

No matter how you spell it, SCIENCE is pure evil. I know because my religious leader told me so! And this shirt is all the proof I need. Black, white, and red asphalt gray shirt (deep heather gray for ladies' bella babydoll shirts), 9" wide.

Are you the Kwisatz Haderach? You might be! Better safe than sorry, right? Might as well pick one of these t-shirts up and make sure the world knows you are a sci-fi messiah whose organic mental powers can bridge space and time. Design is approx. 7" wide and guaranteed to make your name a killing word.

If you could describe wishes using a single word, that word would most likely be 'unstoppable'. Right? I knew it. This shirt features a unicorn riding a dirt bike. It's the most awesome thing you've ever seen so just go ahead and buy one now before you regret not buying it. Seriously. Image and text are approx. 9" wide on a moss-colored t-shirt.

How do you know when Fox News is lying? Their ticker moves. Sadly, this shirt is based on reality and not a comic strip. Design is 8" wide on Navy.

Brock is extremely macho. Now you can be as macho as Brock with this testosterone-laden t-shirt. Black, white, red and green on kelly green shirt, 12" wide.

Had enough of your job? Taxes and death got you down? The inevitable decline of civilization weighing heavily on your mind? Fret no more! Take all the bastards with you when you wear our "Would You Like To Destroy The Universe?" confirm dialogue tee-shirt. Because if you can't beat 'em, nuke everything to hell. B&W print on dark gray., 8" wide.

Nothing is more old school than a trilobite with a college education. Impress your neighbors and friends with your Cambrian-era sensibilities. Design is approx. 5" wide and guaranteed to impart ancient invertebrate wisdom.

As worn by Manhattan 2's Jon in the 2000th Goats Strip/Team Force Alpha pilot. Jon sees death wherever he goes, but Death can only see Jon when he's standing on his left side. B&W print on dark gray, 6" wide.

The classic shirt from megaGAMERZ 3133T. WARNING: Please do not kill anyone while wearing our t-shirt. White silkscreened print on black t-shirt.

These ninjas are extremely stealthy, hiding in plain sight, black ink on a black shirt (image contrast enhanced here to allow you to see their stealthiness). Only the whites of their eyes give them away. Stealthed Goats logo on sleeve.

If corn can live in harmony, why can't we? Because this t-shirt wasn't avaliable until NOW. Purchase a Hooray For Diversity t-shirt and help make the world a better place. Design is approx. 4.5" wide and guaranteed to increase the peace.

Turtle Monsters have traditionally been regarded as a friend to children, but they also kick ass. Now, they do a third thing -- be on a t-shirt! Design is approx. 4.5" wide and guaranteed to defend your island nation from Godzilla.

Get your very own Infinite Monkey on a deep navy t-shirt and have him write you up a solid business plan, if not a work of Shakespeare. Gus sits at his trusty Royal typewriter, editing the universe one page at a time. Goats logo on sleeve.

It's Back! A t-shirt based on another t-shirt based on a comic based on a t-shirt based on a comic, but not really. This is about as meta as you can get. White pirate robot monkey skull insignia screenprinted on black.

You've heard the saying on your favorite sassy UPN sitcoms. Now you can let everyone know that you're a busy person, and that they might as well go talk to a ham, because you ain't havin' none of that. Cardinal red shirt with delicious pink ham and white text. Goats logo on sleeve.

It certainly is. Copper-colored 100% cotton t-shirt with weathered vintage-style logo screenprintd on front. Goats logo on sleeve. Design is approx. 8" wide.

Pine t-shirt with the deadly and infamous Pirate Monkey Robot screen-printed on front. Remember, the monkey is always in the middle. goats.com URL on sleeve

This t-shirt is made from cotton and is not intended to be a food product or to be ingested for any reason. The wearer of this t-shirt expressly agrees that use of this garment is at the wearer’s sole risk, and that the manufacturer is not responsible for any injuries resulting from accidental or intentional placement of the aforementioned garment inside the gastrointestinal system. Wearer’s license to display this garment may be revoked if it is found to be eaten or otherwise used in a nutritive or gustatory manner. 100% cotton. Blue.