T-Shirts & Apparel

The dentist, he says Never Forget, or the Terrorists Win. They win YOUR TEETH. Right out of your skull! And the terrorists are tooth plaque. 3 colors of preventive tooth-style maintenance on Dental Pick Gray.

You have only 140 characters to live! CODE OR DIE: 4 colors of crazy animals and skulls and wings and stars on Army Green, and yes that is a Commodore PET in the middle.

Navy blue 100% cotton t-shirt with RfV campaign logo screenprintd on front. Goats.com URL on sleeve. Fictional elections deserve fictional candidates. Design is approx. 7" wide.

Recent studies show that giant squid feed almost exclusively on food-shaped vehicles that accidentally fall into the ocean. This is true! You can trust me. Teal squid on an asphalt gray shirt, approx. 9" wide.

Lawnworld Doughboys may or may not be sentient, but they sure are tasty! Grass-fed nom nom nommer stands about 4" tall in his silkscreened meadow. Pear Green shirt.

Tell the one you love that they're almost as important as you are. Galactically delicious! 3 colors on Space Black, and I hear rumor that one of them glows in the dark.

They say that discretion is the better part of valor, but what the hell do they know? Pancakes beats discretion any day of the week. Brown 100% cotton t-shirt with pancakes screenprintd on front. Design is approx. 8" wide and delicious with maple syrup.

Beer isn't just a beverage. It's a natural habitat. Why live anywhere else? Screenprinted on lager-colored 100% cotton shirt.

Beer isn't just a beverage. It's a natural habitat. Why live anywhere else? Screenprinted on stout-colored 100% cotton shirt.

Everything old is new again. Proclaim your love for stuff with this t-shirt. Brown 100% cotton t-shirt with weathered vintage-style logo screenprintd on front. Design is approx. 8" wide.

No matter how you spell it, SCIENCE is pure evil. I know because my religious leader told me so! And this shirt is all the proof I need. Black, white, and red asphalt gray shirt (deep heather gray for ladies' bella babydoll shirts), 9" wide.

Are you the Kwisatz Haderach? You might be! Better safe than sorry, right? Might as well pick one of these t-shirts up and make sure the world knows you are a sci-fi messiah whose organic mental powers can bridge space and time. Design is approx. 7" wide and guaranteed to make your name a killing word.

If you could describe wishes using a single word, that word would most likely be 'unstoppable'. Right? I knew it. This shirt features a unicorn riding a dirt bike. It's the most awesome thing you've ever seen so just go ahead and buy one now before you regret not buying it. Seriously. Image and text are approx. 9" wide on a moss-colored t-shirt.

Had enough of your job? Taxes and death got you down? The inevitable decline of civilization weighing heavily on your mind? Fret no more! Take all the bastards with you when you wear our "Would You Like To Destroy The Universe?" confirm dialogue tee-shirt. Because if you can't beat 'em, nuke everything to hell. B&W print on dark gray., 8" wide.

Nothing is more old school than a trilobite with a college education. Impress your neighbors and friends with your Cambrian-era sensibilities. Design is approx. 5" wide and guaranteed to impart ancient invertebrate wisdom.

The classic shirt from megaGAMERZ 3133T. WARNING: Please do not kill anyone while wearing our t-shirt. White silkscreened print on black t-shirt.

These ninjas are extremely stealthy, hiding in plain sight, black ink on a black shirt (image contrast enhanced here to allow you to see their stealthiness). Only the whites of their eyes give them away. Stealthed Goats logo on sleeve.

If corn can live in harmony, why can't we? Because this t-shirt wasn't avaliable until NOW. Purchase a Hooray For Diversity t-shirt and help make the world a better place. Design is approx. 4.5" wide and guaranteed to increase the peace.

Get your very own Infinite Monkey on a deep navy t-shirt and have him write you up a solid business plan, if not a work of Shakespeare. Gus sits at his trusty Royal typewriter, editing the universe one page at a time. Goats logo on sleeve.

Zombies and peanut butter: two great tastes that go great together. Screenprinted on pebble-colored 100% cotton t-type shirt. Nutrition info on back.

Charcoal t-shirt with Phillip's Dune-derived drinking mantra screenprinted on front. Say it ten times fast to become the Kwisatz Haderach. goats.com URL on sleeve. Design is approximately 5" wide.

A new take on an old classic, this K=PT Mark II is sure to confuse and delight. Please purchase this shirt knowing that no manchurian dwarf gazelles were harmed in its making. Screenprinted on navy 100% cotton shirt. Goats logo on sleeve.