I knew that little chicken shit [goats.com] was involved in Fish's death. There will be repercussions.

But what can you really do to stop the chicken? I mean, how many more times can you have your head chopped (or bitten) off? The damn McNugget wannabe keeps coming back for more!

Maybe a plan can be formulated with some evil dip, or possibly monkeys... whatever is easiest to find at wal-mart.

Look, if there's one thing I've learned about suicide, it's that it's never about anyone else. It's always a completely selfish act.

So, if you're going to blame Diablo for Fish's untimely demise, you might as well blame me for goading him into being evil again... (see oh, how clever [goats.com]). Or should I say "egging him on"?

Not that Diablo isn't an evil bastard chicken that deserves to have his head chopped off on a monthly basis. Just not because of Fish. Now, if we found out we could blame Phish on Diablo....

Then I saw first we burn him, then we break his neck, then we murder him, and THEN we kill him.

In Response to zamphir (#3297):

I blame toothgnip. He was the only one not feeling bad over his death, and he also told him he was the scum of the earth...
He killed diablo earlier.... Yeah, it was him.

In Response to Haddie (#3299):

Based on recent events [goats.com], I would have to disagree with your accusation of toothgnip.

And zamphir, while it is noble of you to blame yourself for fish's death, let's face it, diablo has always been evil, and he fucking did it.

In Response to coolhand (#3345):

I wasn't blaming myself for Fish's death.

I was saying it's dumb to blame *anyone* for a suicide other than the person who did the act.

And I don't think recent events prove anything.

I think it was Gregor Mendel.

In Response to zamphir (#3347):

Ultimately the responsibility for the decision to commit suicide lies with Fish, and it might be a stretch to say Diablo (or anyone else) "killed" him based on the information we have. But, that doesn't mean that Diablo's innocent in all this.

To say "suicide is a selfish act" only points to motivation. Fish comitted suicide because he chose death as an alternative to his perception of what continued life would be like (and not, for example, because he felt that Diablo, Reese, Ryan, Toothgnip, or the Pope wanted him dead). But what shaped said perception of continued life? Even selfishness doesn't overcome the interconnectedness of things.

In a human mind, I'd go on to say that there must have been more chronic issues which would have been brought to the surface by something else if not this. Fish's mind seemed much simpler than the average human's, though, so I'm not entirely convinced of that.

Even if Diablo's actions hadn't led to Fish's demise, though, they still would've been Evil[tm]. We may not have 1st degree murder here, but I'd say we have a good case for involuntary fishslaughter.

Gregor Mendel... hmm, possibly a deeper plot at work. Maybe Mendel set out to frame Diablo in order to separate him from the trust of his friends, or even to get him out of the way entirely. Retribution for the DNA extraction incident, or a plan to make sure such interference doesn't occur again...

In Response to mea37 (#3348):

Don't get me wrong. I agree that no one can be blamed for a suicide, other than said dead person, or in this case, fish. What I am saying is that I don't believe fish's death was a suicide.

Ponder for a moment, you're on a beer glass, and you have managed to tape your tail fin, and, oh say, left fin to the glass. How then, would you manage to tape your right fin to the glass using only your right fin? As stated in a long forgotten episode of "The Young Ones",
"It's impossible to hammer in that last nail..."

In Response to coolhand (#3351):

Jeez, guys, Occam's razor, please.

Duct tape is super-sticky.

In Response to jettaboy20 (#3296):

Given Diablo's satanic background, there might be a possibility he'd know a ritual to bring Fish back from the dead. It seems to be a popular [wigu.com] trend [scarygoround.com] these days.

In Response to jon (#3353):

I'm just looking to incite riot, and point some fingers.

In Response to coolhand (#3357):

point some fingers.

Careful. Jon's waving a razor around. You could get those fingers cut off.

In Response to Lonely Goatherd (#3356):

No. No, we can't have that. If Fish were brought back, poor Mrs. Beasely's services would no longer be required over at ATA.

That's right, folks, satanic rituals put little old ladies out of their jobs.

In Response to zamphir (#3359):

I'd blame diablo for that too!