We have a $300 million budget to bring Goats to the big screen (it turns out that Ted Turner is a big fan, and the whole UN thing hasn't worked out to his liking). Non-human characters will be CG and voiced by actors, but everything else is live-action.

Who should we cast?

Barry White must voice Toothgnip.

Gilbert Gottfried as Diablo.

If you could get Hugh Grant a US dialect coach, he would be Jon.

Matthew Lillard would make a good Phillip.

Ooh, nice topic...

Well, I guess you could get Patrick Stewart to play both Neil and Bob. I know he's not riotously funny, but he'd be good for the absurd situations. I think they'd be better played by a 'serious' actor, rather than slapstick buffoons. Also scope for some cruel one-liners...

And no, Star Trek Generations wasn't just on..

Bill Cosby

In Response to Evander (#935):

Seriously, though, I think that you yourself should play a bit part in it, Jon. You could do something as small as the voice of the fish. Also, I think, although the body type is a bit off, Danny Devitto would make a good Jerrel.

In Response to Evander (#937):

And Marlon Brando should play himself.

Diablo could be voiced by Mel Gibson
Toothgnip, I'm thinkin... Kevin Spacey or Clint Eastwood (just imagine Clint saying "Panties of Potency") would do nicely.

Jon and Phillip, hmmm... tougher to do. Jon could be Johnny Depp (I know why... I just think the hair could work out well). Phillip, of mysterious Phillip. Whom shall portray you... maybe Mark Hamill, no... nevermind. Not him. Someone else.

Hmmm...

Hmmm...

Mark Walburg tinkering with Bob and Neils' engine is a good and cute visual.

Fish: James Earl Jones
Bob: Keanu Reeves
Neil: Charlton Heston
Jerrel: Bono

In Response to NscafeUnleaded (#954):

Good lord. I can't imagine Jerrel with purple glasses and an Irish accent.

In Response to Evander (#938):

As should Scott Baiao and Susan Serandon..... and no stunt doubles for them either! :D

In Response to TheWizardofFez (#993):

Yeah, but imagine that voice playing "Dungeons and Hamsters"

Or just muttering "666, DIE, DIE, DIE!"

In Response to NscafeUnleaded (#954):

Bono couldn't be in the movie for the reason that I, like many others (I hope) boycott him. If he was in the movie then I would be in the second worse moral position know to man.

but I'm not allowed to start a new topic, so here goes;

What the (insert expletive here) is creamed corn. I couldn't quite figure out whether it was a joke or an actual product that health-types eat? Or even is it something big in America, being from across the pond I have no idea. (that's the smaller pond, to your right)

?

Andy

P.S. Might as well put in my tuppence worth on the topic too. I think Ted Danson should play one of you guys, and Hayley Joe Osmond the other. Then Sarah Michelle Gellar and Britney Spears for the girls. Is that everybody? Tom Cruise should have his mission impossible rip-off cameo, and Ewan McGregor should be in it, too as he's in just about everything else at the moment.

Jim Hensons Creature shop should do toothnip and Diablo. I think they would do the movie (and indeed, the genre) more justice by re-using the old muppets-on-sticks a la the muppett show. Definatley more "Goats" that any flashy CG. I still prefer the 2D scooby doo, mind, so that's just my opinion.

P.P.S. for those who don't know, tuppence is what we used in the UK before we had 2 cents. It is worth about the same.

Okay. This started out as just a joke, plain and simple.

But the more I thought about it...

So here's the joke (and it's not a very good one)
Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith as Neil & Bob.

But here's where I think it starts to get good..
Rip Torn as the voice of Toothgnip
Linda Fiorentino as Lauren
Tony Shalhoub as Jerrell
Lara Flynn Boyle as Megan
Patrick Warburton as Fish
David Cross as Diablo

Heck, an actress named Siobhan Fallon also starred in one of the MIBs...

In Response to Ruarl (#1033):

Ever had canned corn? You know how some of it gets all squished togethor into a gloopy paste? Well, that's creamed corn. I know, disgusting (and it tastes bad too). Its a popular dish in backwater states like West Virginia and Missouri.

It looks like snot, and tastes like, well, like bland mushed-up corn. I avoid the stuff, granted being on the shores of the really big pond (the one to the left) gives you a lot more options to chose from.

Have you considered what genre you're going to do? If you go with Musical, I'd recommend Brent Spinder of Star Trek: the Next Generation fame. His recent performance in the revival of the classic musical 1776 leads me to believe he'd make an excellent Jon.

If you go with a pornographic angle, I'd say use Ron Jeremy for every part (male, female, animal, alien), the same way Eddie Murphy did in those Nutty Professor movies.

In Response to WizToast (#1069):

Yeah, but who'd date a woman that looked like Ron Jeremy?

In Response to Evander (#1071):

Well... I uh... I certainly... it'd be silly too...

Well, I mean, they can do WONDERS with makeup these days.