Do they really "run sims"? Or is it a form of divination? Are those concepts really so different? Do we even care?

The sheep idea sounds pretty plausible to me.

Though the question is: how do they intend to get Phillip the Multi-verse laptop?

how do they intend to get Phillip the Multi-verse laptop?

I would be surprised if the Topekans are even aware of its existence.

I suspect the reason Phillip (assuming he really is the Programmer) will "neither drink booze, nor lie with a woman nor surf erotic websites for many months" is because he can't do any of those things on Topeka Prime anyway. They probably want him to "breach the Skin between Worlds" using their own ... technology.

Of course, no one seems to have mentioned the possibility that both the Topekans and the Middle Pangaeans have got it wrong, and that Alfred is the Programmer.

He could technically lie with a woman, he just can't do so with Farmella. Though yeah, I doubt he'll be searching elsewhere now, especially now that he's remembered that he's married.

'Skin between the Worlds' is an odd expression. It's as if they want him to bridge all the dimensions together or somesuch. There appear to be quite a few pages after the Phillip section of the Almanac too... Perhaps the rest of the book deals with some sort of massive war of conquest against the rest of the 'Verse?

no one seems to have mentioned the possibility that both the Topekans and the Middle Pangaeans have got it wrong, and that Alfred is the Programmer.

That would be an interesting twist. If it happens, you will be issued the appropriate amount of kudos for calling it.

Still, the fact that Farmella ('the woman of purity') brought Phillip back seems to suggest that it is him. Alfred could probably fulfill all the other requirements, but the 'brought back by Farmella' one is Phillip's alone. And yes, I know she could technically go get him out of there too, but then wouldn't the prophecy say that it'd be the SECOND person she brought back?

Besides, I can't really picture Alfred willingly leaving the stub.

... He could technically lie with a woman ...

Exegesis [goats.com] is something Goataku seem to enjoy, albeit begrudgingly. Thus I'll respectfully disagree with you. The use of the indefinite article in "...nor lie with a woman..." suggests that the Programmer won't lie with any woman at all, not just the previously mentioned "woman of Purity".

However, there is no reason to read too much into "lie with". Maybe it just means that the Programmer is not allowed to swap tall tales of drunken behavior with any woman.

There appear to be quite a few pages after the Phillip section of the Almanac too...

We know at least some of that is the description of President Cheney's re-election. Personally, I'm interested in learning more about the Uplifting of the Gorgranaax.

It's as if they want him to bridge all the dimensions together or somesuch.

Perhaps. One among many plausible interpretations is that Jon is making fun of DC Comics' old "Crisis on Infinite Earths" as a form of revenge for not hiring him to do their "Jimmy Olson vs Batmite" miniseries.

... the fact that Farmella ('the woman of purity') brought Phillip back seems to suggest that it is him.

OK, I have a pop quiz. Of course, I don't have inside information, but I think I know the answer:

How did Farmella decide that Phillip was the one to take from the Stub? [1]

There appear to be quite a few pages after the Phillip section of the Almanac too

I think it's the list of beverages that Phillip likes.

Wow, look what happened! I messed up closing an HTML bold tag, and everything below (in flat mode) is in bold, including Gary's message.

Let's see what happens if I put a closing tag here:

Now this sentence should be back to normal.

No, that didn't work; everything is still bold.

Phillip edited my post to fix the closing tag shortly before 10:17AM EST. If you looked at the discussion after that time, you wouldn't have seen anything unusual. He is now trying to figure out what is wrong with the auto-closing tags code.

To answer your question: Firefox 1.5.

Sorry to all that the discussion got sidetracked. Anyone want to try the pop quiz [goats.com]?

The unwashed stubble. Ever seen a programmer?

Because good bartenders know which glass to use? Is this a hard question?

Because good bartenders know which glass to use?

Well done, if I'm right about this. The Almanac details which beverages the Programmer likes. If Farmella did her homework, she would recognize what Phillip was drinking, if not from the shape of the glass, then from the consistency and coloration which only unfiltered yeast can produce.

Is this a hard question?

Pop quizzes shouldn't be.

I'm going to give Tel* second prize; I didn't notice the spillage, but it was a good answer. Dynedain gets third prize; I've seen programmers, but I doubt Farmella has, and the Almanac doesn't say anything about the Programmer's stubble.

If Jon jumps in and says I was wrong, I trust you all to redistribute the prizes correctly amongst yourselves.

"There appear to be quite a few pages after the Phillip section of the Almanac too... Perhaps the rest of the book deals with some sort of massive war of conquest against the rest of the 'Verse?"

Appendix and footnotes.

"and the Almanac doesn't say anything about the Programmer's stubble."

I never meant to imply that there was nothing else in there besides what you've already heard. Wheatina's answer is just an example of one of the things it says in the book about him. I reserve the right to pull out future revelations from the Almanac.

That said, your explanation is as good as any. The fact that his stubble disappeared should show you how much love I have for strict continuity.

Appendix and footnotes.

Well, even that revelation doesn't destroy my theory entirely. A simple war of conquest pales in comparison to the dawning of a New Age of the Multiverse, after all... so of course they'd put that part in an appendix.

So come on! Let's see some wars of conquest!

i might just watch to see what happens

I have two words to say.

"Quantum chickens".

I never meant to imply that there was nothing else in there besides what you've already heard.

Imprecise wording on my part. I should have written something like: what we know now of the Almanac's contents doesn't mention stubble. So I still think deerboy's answer is the best match to what evidence is already present in the strip. Training in geology triumphs, it seems.

I reserve the right to pull out future revelations from the Almanac.

I want the one about the rain of frogs. That cracks me up every time.

I would be surprised if the Topekans are even aware of [the laptop's] existence.

Ha! Wrong again. [goats.com]

So cows it is.

For the record, "haruspication", "extispicy", and "tiromancy" are words. I figured if I used three real ones, no one would bother checking the others. "Ovispicy" and "triticumancy" are made up, but I would nominate them for inclusion in lists of such words [phrontistery.info].

"Bovination" is not original, but I didn't look it up until a few minutes ago. It seems to be something Australians do [bovination.com].

Bonus points for naming any of the three films this poll references.

I like your poll options still manage to be right now and then, even though you're actively trying to make them random and wrong. This is probably a testament to how unpredictable the story has gotten.

I like how the cow computer has a screen and buttons. Is the cow itself sentient though? It seemed rather horrified when Phillip dropped his pants, so one can at least assume that it is a smart cow, but I do wonder if it can talk...

[Clara the cowputer] seemed rather horrified when Phillip dropped his pants

I suspect that life throughout the multiverse shuddered in horror at that moment.

I do wonder if it can talk...

The answer to that is homophonous to the answer to the koan "does a dog have the Buddha nature?".

Bonus points for naming any of the three films this poll references.

Red wheat, winter wheat, Cream of Wheat!