I had to change the gravitational constant of the universe.

I'm not sure what your question is, but them moustache-wearing parrots seem to be displaying an odd lack of crushed bones for people weighing 44957290600 times more than they used to!! (give or take 100) [google.com.mt]

In Response to Redwizz (#25883):

Hey did you guys really all get the VC from WWII?

Is it handed down or what?

In Response to tor (#25884):

The VC is a military award and as such is only awarded to service men of the British and Commonwealth countries. The George Cross is the civilian equivalent and that was what was awarded to the island of Malta. In its history, the GC has been awarded collectively [gc-database.co.uk] twice.

In Response to Redwizz (#25883):

Can someone more pedantic than me explain to this guy why he's wrong?

In Response to jon (#25890):

I was going to write a nice little bit of calculus, but I've decided to just say the following:

For Redwizz to be right, Jon must be wrong.
Jon cannot be wrong in a universe of his own creation.
Jon created goats:the universe.
So, Redwizz is wrong because Jon must be right.

Q.E.D.

In Response to Nagy_Vilmos (#25891):

cannot be wrong in a universe of his own creation

"Poor Grendel's had an accident," I whisper. "So may you all."

In Response to tor (#25884):

I wouldn't actually know, I'm only temporarly living in Malta. But I can tell you if you're interested in war history, here's the place to visit. The two main events having happened here being the attacks by the turcs and WWII. The latter having an enormous heritage over here. The best part of it is you can visit most of them (old underground military war rooms, the fort holding the only (apart from the one in gibraltar) 100-ton canon, underground passages, etc.) unlike most places, if it's dangerous, you can visit it!

Anyway, I'm out of this thread's topic... well.. at least I think I am

So I apologize if i was wrong, although i'm still not sure why I'm wrong (unless we're refering to my lack of suspension of disbelief).

The only thing I can think of is there must be Gs canceling out somewhere... but where? hmmm...

If anyone feels like enlightening me... I'd be grateful!

In Response to jon (#25890):

I'm no pedant, but I can at least mrinternet.

According to my sources [nasa.gov], weight can be calculated thusly:

W=m*g

And

g = G * m earth / (d earth)^2

Right now, g is 9.8 m/s^2

If G became 3, g would be 4.40573493 × 10^11 m/s^2 [google.com]

That means that things would be 4.40573493×10^11/9.8=4.49564788 × 10^10 times heavier.

So, uh, I am also wrong.

Damn.

I must not be pedantic enough.
Yeah, well, that should come as no surprise.

In Response to jon (#25890):

Those of you allergic to math may wish to skip to the end, which is a nice bit and has Siobain in it.

Okay, Newton's Universal Law of Gravitation states that the force due to gravity (Fg) between two objects is equal to some constant (G, the Universal Gravitational Constant) times the product of their masses, divided by the distance between their centers (we'll assume all objects are spherical) squared:

Fg = G mM/R^2

Given that, on the surface of the earth, the force due to gravity is taken as an object's mass times the acceleration due to the local gravitational field (we'll disregard rotational effects):

Fg = mg

we can set:

mg = G mM/R^2

"m" is your mass. M is the mass of the earth, and R is the distance from the center of you (on the surface of the earth) to the center of the earth. The two "m" terms cancel each other out, thus acceleration due to the local gravitational field is:

g = GM/R^2

Per the CRC Handbook of Chemistry and Physics, 65th Edition:

G = 6.670e-11 m^3/kg sec^2

M = 5.979e24 kg

R = 6378533 m (mean equatorial radius; bump it up by 1 meter to account for the distance from your feet to the center of your mass)

Plug it all in together, and you get:

6.67e-11 * 5.979e24/6378534^2 = (approximately) 9.8 m/sec^2

Now, if G is equal to 3, the acceleration due to gravity on the surface of the earth is going to go up by a factor of 3/6.67e-11, or (approximately) 4.497e10 (44.97e9 for you engineers out there).

So instead of gravity cruising along at the relatively sane 9.8 m/sec^2, it's now a somewhat oppresive 4.409e11 m/sec^2. Now then, weight: not the same thing as mass (which is inertial, and always the same regardless of gravity acting upon it). Weight = mass times the local gravitational field strength.

W = m g units: kg m/sec^2, or Newtons (N)

I've personally gone from a somewhat svelte 588 Newtons to a slightly blimpish 2.6454e13 (26 and a half trillion!) Newtons, or nearly as much as Kirstie Alley (and Ms Alley is tipping the scales with a number usually associated with globular superclusters). For the moment, Redwizz is correct: we weigh much, much more than we used to.

Now, to explain why Jon, Phillip, Fineas, and indeed the universe as a whole have not collapsed into a supermassive and supercompact black hole, we could explicate a complete Unified Field Theory, which would most likely require the strong nuclear force, weak nuclear force, and electromagnetic forces to precisely balance out the shift in G. Fortunately, Fineas's brain now contains all the knowledge of Stephen Hawking, so that's all right.

Or, more simply (cf: Occam's Razor), we could point out that Fineas merely said that G was now equal to "three", with no mention of units of measure. Given that in Goatsland, it's well established that "three" has its own special units [goats.com], we may take G's new value of "three" to be in units of "1/3 of the total of the Universal Gravitational Constant", and hey-presto, nobody's dead. Redwizz, by assuming that G is still measured in m^3/kg sec^2, instead of "units", has come to an incorrect conclusion. QED.
 

In Response to jon (#25890):

Simple. Fish didn't state his units. G is now 3 gk c^2/j^3. Or 3 gigaklergs * cords^2/ jogalets ^ 3. It makes sense that an intelligent being like Fish would use a more universal unit system than the arbitrary system used on earth based upon the length of a stick, the density of water, and some strange ratio of the earth's period of rotation.

Naturally, viewed as such, this change to G will have a nominal effect on parrot suits, except perhaps to give them a slightly shinier sheen during twilight hours.

In Response to Redwizz (#25903):

When I visit Malta, the first thing I'm going to do is take a tour of a cross factory or workshop. I have some lingering questions regarding the techniques used to construct such devices.

In Response to gtyrrell (#25906):

Also worthy of note is that Phillip's Social Security Number is also 3! [goats.com]

In Response to Redwizz (#25883):

It wasn't a question [startrek.com].

Since spectral colors, and all lightwaves, aren't effected by Fineas' new gravity, how are Jon and Phillip able to see it?

In Response to Rich (#25922):

What the change in gravity actually enhances is the suspension of disbelief.

That said, I think watching traffic speed by with a head full of MDMA might be a good approximation of blern.

In Response to gtyrrell (#25906):

Hey, you can't post while I'm writing. Did somebody try to prove something using Occam's Razon? [goats.com].

In Response to deerboy (#25927):

You think I wrote all that out while you were composing? Hell, took me 15 minutes just to find were I'd stuck my copy of the CRC when we moved last year.
 

In Response to gtyrrell (#25928):

No, I think I composed mine while you were posting. I certainly didn't spend time proofreading.

I'm just saying that if you show up to a moustache fight armed with Occam's Razor, expect to get cut.

In Response to gtyrrell (#25906):

(we'll disregard rotational effects)

This is one of the simple ways to distinguish Physics or Math from Politics.

In Response to deerboy (#25929):

I show up at moustache fights armed with a moustache ... and a tactical nuclear weapon, whenever possible.
 

In Response to Dynedain (#25914):

I am amazed that only Dynedain picked up on my actual reference, especially since I know he's not a big fan of the show.

I am disappointed...

In Response to Clan_Hanna (#25933):

I am amazed that only Dynedain picked up on my actual reference
I am amazed that, after spending this much time here, you still fail to recognize the difference between "didn't pick up your reference" and "ignored your reference".

I am disappointed...
Hey Look!

People suck!

Who knew?

In Response to zamphir (#25934):

Hey Look!

People suck!

Who knew?


You've used that one already. Now I'm dissapointed.

In Response to jettaboy20 (#25940):

I'm not disappointed. I think it's sort of neat how any conversation about people can eventually lead not to tripe, but rather to this observable constant. Perhaps Kornz will find that this has a more appealing consistency than dooky.

In Response to Teledildonix (#25942):

I think it's sort of neat how any conversation about people can eventually lead not to tripe, but rather to this observable constant.

You may have stumbled onto something there. I did a quick review of some threads, and it looks as though most could be summed up with that one statement.

Actually, thinking back to some of my most recent conversations, it still holds true. You should start a line of bumber stickers Z, or maybe it could even be a nice text shirt.