One line that has strangly stuck with me in the Patent Pending strip is the "He saw Snow Crash 4 times in it's first weekend!".

So...lets say you somehow ended up on the creative team for developing the cinematic adaptation of Snow Crash...Who would you cast for what? What would you keep in, what would have to be cut? How would you show the Metaverse? I'd like to see what others think about this...

That book has been rotting away on my bookshelf for two *whole* years. Why does everyone keep talking about it?

In Response to TheWizardofFez (#991):

because we're waiting for you to read it.

Peter Jackson is the only one worthy of such an immense undertaking. The difficulty is, the book WAS and action movie. and every sentence contained at least twenty metaphores. you cannot show a metaphore on screen without making it look like a roadrunner cartoon. IS THATWHATYOUWANT? ROADRUNNER IN YOUR SNOWCRASH!?!?

In Response to Lonely Goatherd (#3576):

Ahem. "metaphor", "metaphors".

Methinks also you are vastly overestimating the number of metaphors in the entire book, much less in each sentance.

Unless you've only read the book while high? Because I have been told that every written word is a metaphor for something if one reads it while high.

Or maybe you're confusing Neil's jokes for metaphors? That bit, with the people with the antennae sticking out of their head at the classic rabbit-ear/my-favorite-martian-angle? That was a joke, not a complex metaphor about modern society and our obsession with TV and how it leads us to be unable to communicate with each other other than through an endless stream of babble.

Large sections of Snow Crash are there for comedic effect and scenery, and not To Make A Point, or even advance the plot. The bit where our Hiro (that should have been your first clue that this was a comedy) calls tech support for the rail/needle-gun was all about the styling and not about Hiro shooting holes in anything.

In Response to zamphir (#3577):

What's a metaphor?

Sheep to graze in.

Anyways....good call on the Hiro Protaganist thing. And imagine if tech support was really like that?

Its funny, laugh dammit!

In Response to Lonely Goatherd (#3576):

"You got your Road Runner in my Snow Crash."

"You gut your Snow Crash in my Road Runner."

I've always pictured the metaverse in my head as reboot-style vr, even though he describes it otherwise. I guess what would make the most sense for the metaverse would be to do CG graphics in the style of contemporary first-person shooters; kinda, but not very, polygonal, lower-res texture maps, etc.

However, the sword fight in the Black Sun, it has to be done with them speaking English, but dubbed into Japanese (so we get the odd lip movement effect) with English subtitles that are a translation of a translation. I think the comedic potential for that effect in that scene is enormous.

Parts to drop? Much as I hate to say it, the scene with the hillbillies in the tent where we learn of Raven and the Submarine. It's not overly essential to the plot, and to satisfy the audience, you'd have to do the chase scene Stephenson weasled out of. Also, the whole part with YT's pickup and delivery job for the Mafia... from I think the park to Rev. Wayne's Pearly Gates. it would take about fifteen minutes to do in the film and isn't overly essential.

For some inane reason, this topic came to mind as I was falling asleep last night.

How 'bout this casting selection:
Robert DiNiro as Uncle Enzo
The Rock as Raven
Paul Newman as L. Bob Rife
Christopher Lloyd as Rev. Wayne Bedford
I'd say Ed Norton could pull off Hiro Protaganist
While I'd love to see Natalie Portman in the role, she's just not gritty enough to be able to pull off Y.T.
Julia Roberts should be her mother, just to remind the bitch how old she really is.

now, if we were casting Cryptonomicon, Ian McKellan would be perfect for Enoch Root.

In Response to Dynedain (#4018):

Ed Norton could pull of Hiro Protaganist. But that's just because Ed Norton is THE BEST ACTOR IN THE ENTIRE WORLD ABLE TO RESCULPT HIMSELF AS ANYONE.

All kidding aside, Ed Norton could do it, but he's not the best fit.

Johnny Depp could also do a good job, but I'd rather see an Asian-American in the role.

Jet Li would be cool, but they'd then rework the movie to be a lot more kung-fu based, and that's not right.

Brandon Lee would be perfect, alas.

In Response to zamphir (#4027):

I did think of Jet Li could work....but he looks too asian, if that makes sense, that and his accent is too thick. Hiro is supposedly of mixed heritage (i think) and has clearly lived his entire life in western/american culture

Jackie Chan has the same too-asian problem, and he's too old, but his personality would work perfectly

I'm thinking this would have to be one of those roles that a previously unknown would have to fill. Maybee that guy who was in "That 80's Show"? (he was the asian guy chanting "MILF!" in American Pie) - he might be able to fit the bill...

In Response to Dynedain (#4032):

No, you're right about Jackie and Jet. They're both too old and too Asian for the role.

I agree that the guy [imdb.com] who was in "That '80s show" would be a good choice, as would the guy [imdb.com] who was the Asian guy in American Pie. However, they don't seem to be the same guy. At least, as near as I can figure.

And yes, Hiro is supposed to be of mixed Japanese and American descent, as I recall. His dad was an american solider, who ended up killing Raven's dad (who was a Japanese soldier - d'ja think Neil has a think for WWII?).

In Response to zamphir (#4033):

whoops....thought they were the same guy...they did play similar roles, and the American Pie guy was in the recent sitcom "Off Centre" (on a side note, I just noticed via IMDB that there is an American Pie 3 in the works **shudder**)

infatuation w/ WW2 and Asia....lets see, Cryptonomicon, Snow Crash, A Young Ladies Primer....nahhh...couldn't be

the exceptions of course are "The Big U" and "Zodiac". The Big U doesn't really match his other work (except for the fact that it is damn funny) but Zodiac the main character's roommate is a heavy metal stoner, but a helpful friend in a pinch.....art imitating life? you be the judge

In Response to Dynedain (#4037):

Hiro is supposed to be half Asian and half _African_ American. (remember the scene where he is getting tech support and can't peg the receptionists ethnicity because, he assumes, it has been modelled on his own).

Now that narrows down your choices if you want someone that meets that ethnicity...

Then again a little makeup can cover superficial things like that I guess.

Also Interface (as stephen Bury (sp?)) not really WW2 or asian (except the touch of india), again it doesn't match his other work, although if you have enough stuff that doesn't match his other work you have to question the clause "his other work" I guess.

In Response to tor (#4045):

i haven't read anything under his penname....because i only found out about a couple weeks ago...and i've heard that since the books under that name are a collaberation w/ his uncle, that they aren't as good....but i'm still planning on reading them

In Response to Dynedain (#4052):

Well, in the case of Interface, I have the lovely experience of reading it without knowing it was him (sometimes being a tad slow is very good) as well as having a good portion of it read _to_ _me_ whilst I was in bed by a lady friend who has a lovely reading voice, So I think it is a great book. All intriguey and mysterious and stuff.

About half way through her reading it to me she pointed out that it was Neil Stephenson (I was trying to get her to read Diamond Age). I played it cool like "Yeah I know, I was getting you to read him secretly". She, of course, didn't believe me.

In Response to tor (#4076):

I've been having this discussion with a friend and we both wholeheartedly agree that Pete Steele, the lead singer of Type O Negative should definaltely play Raven. Because he's just as huge as Raven is described to be...

Thats all there is to it!

:-)

In Response to Dynedain (#4018):

I see more James Gandolfini in the Uncle Enzo role. Or Chazz Palmintari

I can't argue with Christopher Lloyd.

I don't see The Rock pulling off Raven, though. I think Michael Clarke Duncan might be able to do it. Yaphet Kotto (Homicide: Life on the Street) could have ten years ago, but not now.

There aren't many actresses who can successfully pull off action roles. Angelina Jolie and Sigourney Weaver are two of the only two I've seen do convincing jobs, but neither of them would work for Y.T.

Either Paul Newman or Jon Voight would be good for L. Bob Rife. With Voight as Rife and Jolie as Y.T. would be comical, but not good for the integrity of the movie.

In Response to Clan_Hanna (#5397):

"...and Jolie as Y.T. would be comical, but not good for the integrity of the movie"

Plus of course YT is about 15 from memory...

In Response to tor (#5404):

Yeah, she's totally only 15 . . .

In Response to phillip (#1006):

I have no idea if this will affect the volume of comments in this thread, but I have now read Snow Crash.

Great book. Surprisingly entertaining and thought-provoking.

On that same note, I also don't think that Snow Crash should be made into a movie. I just can't imagine a 90-minute treatment--or even a three hour 'epic'--that wouldn't chop one side of that balance off. I wouldn't even give the humour a shot either, as only the people who had read the book would be able to spot the sillier elements.

A more plausible transition would be a mini-series, kind of like what the Sci-Fi channel did for Dune, and more recently, Children of Dune.

In Response to TheWizardofFez (#5499):

See, what might end up working really really well, is if they got a bad director (maybe someone looking to move up from "music videos"), and didn't tell him there was any humor in it.

Then he'd end up playing it straight, and we'd end up with something like Johnny Mnemonic.

Well, we'd hopefully end up with something as funny as Johnny Mnemonic, without being nearly so tragic.

In Response to TheWizardofFez (#5499):

And now you know why we keep talking about it.

Now, continue on w/ Stephenson and read Diamond Age and Cryptonomicon

In Response to Lonely Goatherd (#3917):

One of the scenes that hit me from X-Men was the shot where Xavier is searching for Rogue with Cerebro. The reason I bring this up here, is that that look was exactly how I had envisioned the metaverse.

In Response to TheWizardofFez (#5499):

maybe rushing in to make a feature-length and style film production is jumping too far in one go?

The story is perfect for transcribing to graphic novel format, it would be a fantastic but massive project to transgraph it. I am really tempted to go for it myself but I doubt I have the ability to truly render it and give it justice. Maybe a team could do it...Wow, some full page posters with the rat thing or YT pooning on the tura. Yum.

stridebird

In Response to tor (#5404):

So Christina Ricci then? she can still pull of the young look, and she's got that YT style