Inedible Pork Plasma

Whoa, meta.

This is almost as surreal as the lundblogblog [angelfire.com].

Damn. When somebody gets some edible pork plasma, please let me know. I lost power because of the hurricane for a few days and my stock went rancid. Oh wait, it was already rancid.

P.S. Residents of New York: There is nothing special about surviving a power outage. You do not get a badge for making it though such an event. If you are unprepared to go without power for a day, then you are truly pathetic, and not in the cool dorky way.

In Response to deerboy (#8845):

on the (false) assumption that I was in NY when that happened....how tall is your building, and how much of your public transportation runs on electricity?

In Response to phillip (#8847):

How can you make false assumptions about yourself? You amaze me!

I am confused. Does consumption of edible pork plasma require tall buildings or public transportation (particularly public transportation that runs on electricity)? Have I been doing it all wrong?

Going without edible pork plasma for one day is not easy, I agree. Just not the end of the world. You should pretty much assume that an extensive and complicated edible pork plasma distribution system is going to fail in some unpredictable fashion, and not act shocked when your edible pork plasma supply in your impressively large building runs out. Perhaps the only danger is your lifestyle that requires a constant supply of edible pork plasma. I sense an edible pork plasma manifesto coming on!

In Response to deerboy (#8848):

Inedible Pork Plasma, being the main reactant in Bacon Fusion plants is probably the main cause of the blackouts in the first place.
It's all a big cover-up... The Car That Ran On Water... Please, we all know the EPP car came first. EPP = EPA... There's only one letter difference. Think about it.

As for the the Edible Pork Plasma Manifesto: Simply read the label on the Extra-EXTRA large bottle of Dr. Bronner's Pure Castile Soap.

Assuming (not unlike a character in an H.P. Lovecraft novel) you aren't driven mad by the dark secrets contained therein, you will be well on your way to understanding IN/Edible Pork Plasma and how it fits into the vast and intertwined heirarchy of pork.

Known to the Initiated as the Shish-Kabob-Kaballa...

All One Pork Faith! ALL ONE! ALL ONE!

In Response to lemur666 (#8850):

I think this all leads me back to my miserably failed attempt to start up a Sporkle Recipie Exchange.

Incidentally, there are 2 pigs for every person in North Carolina.

Soylent EPP is made out of pigs! Its made out of pigs!

In Response to phillip (#8847):

So a breakfast beer and a dessert beer.... hmmmm.

Well I am guessing the dessert beer is easy. I'd go a dark belgian ale, a Rochefort 10 perhaps? maybe Chimay blue, perhaps even jon's recommendation for the tricksy "beer for the ladies" Framboise... depending on the dinner of course.

But the breakfast beer, oh lord a sweet and tempting challenge. Perhaps a Pilsner Urquell to freshen you up and make the morning start sharply. On the other hand you may have gone the fruity hoppy exitement of a sierra nevada pale ale... Perhaps a good strong bock to replace your coffee if you do the continental breakfast thing... Of course the perennial phillipian hefeweizen could be trusted on even here with the fizz and the fresh...

So what was it? Anyone else have breakfast beer recommendations?

In Response to tor (#8857):

I tried a Framboise because of a recommendation [goats.com] posted on this forum. and was disappointed. Sure it wasn't a sweet as many fruit beers, but in the end it was still a beer with fruit in it. That'll teach me to take recommendations from poopie eating posters.

Portland Brewing [macsbeer.com] used to have a beer brewed with coffee, suitable for breakfast called Haystack Black. It seems most stouts would fit well with breakfast. Then again, I'm a coffee drinker.

A complex Weiss beer might match a light breakfast with it's fruity, clovy goodness. Phillip, any suggestions?

In Response to Oedipa_Maas (#8860):

I would go with any IPA. That is an Inedible Pork Ale. Apprantly the bottom fermentation cuts down on the chances of getting a disease. East Carolina Brewing Company makes an excellent one, called 'Scrapple', and it is high in protien as well. The ESB (Extra Special Brine) 'Fatback' is a little on the piquant side, but great for in the morning. I can't think of a better way to start the day.

P.S. Stay away from the Irish Snout.

In Response to Oedipa_Maas (#8860):

You took advice from Scott Baio...that'll teach you...

assuming you haven't given up on fruity beers (no, not gay ones, just fruity)...try SLO (San Luis Obispo) Blueberry Ale....thats assuming you can even find it. I've only seen it on tap in one place, and haven't been able to find in in bottles anywhere locally.

In Response to Oedipa_Maas (#8860):

Anyone who might poo-poo the idea of a breakfast beer should read the following:

"We could not now take time for further search or consideration, our victuals being much spent, especially our beer."
Excerpted from the journal of a passenger on the Mayflower, dated December 19, 1620.

Basically they decided to land in Plymouth, rather than further south (where the climate certainly would have been better) because they were Out Of Beer!

And as an aside, the daily consumption of the Puritans was regulated by law. They were allowed two quarts for breakfast alone!

So if a Puritan was allowed two quarts... well, YMMV.

Personally, if I'm imbibing a barley malt beverage for breakfast, I prefer a good oatmeal stout. Heavy on the carbs, and not too sugary. But this has far more to do with nutritional needs rather than taste.