Today, we once again delve into the wide world of food and beer. Had I received comments on my last attempt at this, I most likely would have been told that I didn't spend enough time talking about what beers to have with the food, and that I spent too much time rambling on about the joys of being lazy. Truth be told, I could go on for pages about all the joys of laziness, but somehow I just can't be bothered.
So this time, I diversify. Almost. Instead of focusing on one damn fine food product, I focus on 2 damn fine food products. Coincidentally, all of them are produced from exactly the same single damn fine food product. The vaguely defined, multifaceted, and yet clearly delineated product of luncheon meat.
To be clear, I don't want you to think I'm advocating any specific brand of luncheon meat, because the fact is that any of them will work equally well in any of the following recipes, but there's definitely one that's known a little bit better than the others.
Starting simply, we work with one of my personal creations. As such, it exemplifies the depths of my creative talent, with emphasis on the word depth.
I was inculcated into the world of luncheon meat by my roommate during my sophomore year of college. The cooking was simple: slice meat into slices, fry meat in pan. The cooking was good. And yet, it somehow left me feeling that there could be so much more to this new aspect of my life. There was only one thing that came to mind. Cheese. Thus was developed what I like to call Luncheon meat with cheese melted on top and then some catsup. Basically, after the meat is mostly fried, slice a piece of cheese, and melt it on top. When you're transferring this creation to the serving platter, take a bottle of catsup (I found that the variety in the squeeze bottles was most effective) and draw a line down the luncheon meat on top of the cheese. This dish combines the elegance of luncheon meat with the sophistication of simple geometry.
After having mastered luncheon meat in its role as an appetizer, I had to move on. How, I wondered, can I take something as simple, and yet greasy, as luncheon meat, and incorporate it into a larger meal? I could feel in my arteries that I was onto something with the cheese thing, and knew that I had to pursue it further. After long seconds of pondering further sources of cheese in my life, I hit on the answer. As as added advantage, this recipe involved cutting the luncheon meat into even smaller pieces, and who was I to argue with furthering my ability to cause self-injury?
The answer lay in another innocuous box in a kitchen cupboard, in this case, a case of boxes. Fortunately, these boxes were so self contained that they included cooking directions for cooking on them. Again, without promoting any brands, the answer was Macaroni and Cheese. Simply slice the luncheon meat into thin strips, fry them as always, and then mix into the finished mac and cheese mixture. Eating this combination of meat, cheese, and pasta, I felt like I was consuming not only a grand creation, but also a healthy balance of at least three of the four food groups. After all, what's life without a little scurvy once in a while anyway?
Beyond my own creations, as fine as they may be, I have also heard that I've barely touched upon the culinary possibilities offered up by luncheon meat. Luckily one thing remains constant, beers to exemplify the subtleties of it's varied flavors.
Luncheon meat has managed to balance the flavors of grease and salt almost to a tee. Salt and grease are both flavors begging to be balanced. Generally speaking, the way to do that is to throw as much of a contrasting flavor at them as possible. In the case of beer, that flavor is bitterness. Bitterness is one of my favorite characteristics anyway; my hop intake is about as close as I'm going to get to eating veggies on a regular basis. Depending on your tastes, I would go with either a really hoppy pilsner, or as I always recommend, an IPA. If you're eating something as classy as a luncheon meat burger at a barbecue, or in any kind of hot weather, the pilsner would be nice anyway. Stretch yourself, try some of the lesser know Czech ones, the original Budweiser (from Budvar) and Staropramen are both good. If, like me, you're smart enough not to go outside when it's that damn hot, and you're sitting next to an AC instead, then I'll be biased, and recommend what I'm drinking as I write this, a Brooklyn Brewery EIPA.
So there we are. More food, more beer, and more of my ramblings. All in all, things that make me thirsty and less capable of typing.
As always, I welcome beer.
-- phillip karlsson, brew guru
june 05, 1998