Before you do anything else, I want you to go check out a little comic strip that was recently called to my attention. It's called Bobbins. This comic strip has a complete lack of cruel, vicious animals. Almost none of it's characters are programmers. I haven't seen a single incident of bestiality depicted yet. One might think to himself upon first glance, "How can someone possibly pull off a comic strip without these crucial elements?" But you're gonna have to trust me on this one; it's worth going through the archives (and since it's only been around a few weeks, you have the advantage of being there from the beginning). The characters are fun to hang out with, the artwork is almost edible, and the humor is wry and subtle. Please, I beg of you, read it and enjoy (and say hi to John Allison, the strip's creator). Then, you can come back here and continue reading.
A quick note about the ads on our site: it seems that no one has been visiting our sponsors, and they're somewhat upset. Remember, sponsors need love too, so remember to visit one after you're done reading the day's strip. They're the guys that are keeping this site afloat, so please make sure that we keep the advertisers happy.
Not much else to say this month, aside from he fact that work on the animated short is actually progressing. I've written the first draft of the screenplay, and the rewrite should get done tomorrow or this weekend. We have a wonderful 3D animator working on the models of the four main characters as we speak, and motion tests should be done in the next month or two. I'll post some pics of our progress as they come in so you can get a taste of what it'll be like. All the parts for the voices of the characters have been cast, except one; If you know anyone who's a decent actor in the NYC area and can do a passable Johnny Cash imitation, let me know (especially if they're willing to work for free).
Enough update for one month. Here's a taste of a press release we're hoping to put out later this month. Enjoy...
Goats.com Goes Public
02/03/99 – NEW YORK, NY – Goats.com, home of Goats: The Comic Strip and purveyor of Goats: The Comic Strip-related merchandise, today announced details of their groundbreaking, daring plan to go public.
Jonathan Rosenberg, creator of Goats: The Comic Strip, and Phillip Karlsson, another guy, said "We feel that we’ve created the world’s premiere comic strip about guys named Phillip and Jon, and the next logical step is to let the public see it."
"We feel that letting people see the site will increase the number of page views," Rosenberg continued, "and in turn, will increase our advertising revenues." Rosenberg adds that the additional funds will go towards the purchase of potato chips and and chip-related spreads, a variety of bottled beer, and the hiring of a mercenary army to fight a secret war in Eastern Europe. The war, intended to remove cartoonist adversary Scott Adams (of "Dilbert" fame) from his dictatorial, terrorist-backed rule of the impoverished third-world country of Kausitzstan, is seen as an important step in assuring continued growth for the fledgling comic strip.
"Adams must be stopped," added Karlsson, who then promptly shotgunned a beer to emphasize his point.
Critics of the plan disagreed with the strategy, while supporters voiced their support.
When asked about Goats.com’s plans to go public, Scott Horowitz, a field manager for some telecommunications company, said "Yeah. Right." Horowitz still lives with his mother.
Chris Jacobson, who does something financially-related for Bloomberg (and no longer lives with his mother), said "I think Goats.com provides investors with a unique opportunity to read a comic strip."
Goats.com, which began in August of 1997, is the only website to have ever shown a profit, according to an unofficial 1998 poll of Karlsson’s friends.
George Vlad, one of the aforementioned friends and a long-time reader of Goats: The Comic Strip, could not be reached for comment, as his phone was busy. Insiders say that he was most likely downloading pornography from the Internet.
With profits of over $300 for fiscal 1998, Goats.com has resoundly trounced competitor Amazon.com, who lost over $78 million in the first nine months of last year. Rosenberg commented, "I think it’s clear who’s going to come out ahead. Nyeah, nyeah. Bezos is a wuss," referring to Jeffrey P. Bezos, Chairman, President and CEO of Amazon.com. Bezos could not be reached, as his phone number could not be found.
Goats.com is proud to be an Amazon.com Associate.
About Goats.com
Goats.com is the leading online publisher of Goats: The Comic Strip, which chronicles the adventures of two hapless antisocialites, their amorous, womanizing pet goat, an evil yet clueless satan-worshipping chicken, and an assorted cast of eggplants, computer programmers, sadistic bartenders, manic aliens, and Frank Coffee.
Goats.com receives over 2,000 visitors a day, some of whom enjoy the comic strip.
Goats: The Comic Strip was created by Jonathan Rosenberg, President and Chief Cartoonist, in April of 1997, when fellow conspirator Phillip Karlsson suggested, "Uh... you should, like, draw a comic strip or something."
Goats: The Comic Strip has been rejected for syndication by over 8 cartoon syndicates, including such notable organizations as United Media, King Features, and the Universal Press Syndicate.
-jonathan rosenberg, cartoonist extraordinaire
february 3, 1999