I'd been thinking it might be fun to have a thread where we can discuss stuff related to Ask The Animals.

But I didn't want to start one until I had something to say.

Not being as hip and with-it as the kids these days, being an old married man, I wasn't completely clear on the details of a Vietnamese Spin-Fuck chair. So I searched on google. That found me a few things, including something that passed for a definition.

It also gave me a Sponsored Link for OfficeMax.

Heh.

OfficeMax's search page only returns about three hits for 'vietnamese spin-fuck chair'. But their search engine apparently confuses 'fuck' with 'lock', leading to some wonderful results [officemax.com].

Well, I'm unreasonably happy to see that Fish has addressed my questions. Is it wrong to bask in the glory of getting a meaningless answer to a trivial question from a cartoon animal?

(I don't really have any insight for you about the chair. I thought everyone heard about them by age 12 through some sort of cultural osmosis. You know, a friend's dad's old Penthouse Forum, or a brother who heard about it from some guy in the army.)

I just have to say that the revenge advice is a perfect example of why this strip kicks the crap out of the others. Funny and yet truly nasty. fqn great. Oh and I also am exceptionally happy with my scotch eggs answer also, mmmm pony.

In Response to tor (#2072):

Yeah, I've been thinking Diablo should publish a cook book... but then again, my local grocer doesn't carry pony, and I sense that might be a problem.

In Response to mea37 (#2077):

We could write it for him, as a message board game.

If you're having trouble finding pony at your local grocery, there should be a reputable dealer online who will deliver to your home at reasonable rates.

In Response to tor (#2072):

The revenge advise did TRULY make my day - I don't know how much of it I would actually carry out - but it is nice to think about....

In Response to case (#2050):

i now feel your extreme happiness. i also had my question answered and HAD to tell everyone around me i was so giddy. so i say no it is not wrong, it made me day a lot brighter!

I've actually met the pony who invented L33+ 5p34k. He lives just outside of Steven's Point. Thankfully, after his caretakers found out what he'd done, they've kept him dosed on beer [pointbeer.com] ever since.

In Response to zamphir (#2448):

If only I'd known that he lived near Steven's Point, I'd have stopped by last time I was in town and given him an extra dose of Point Classic Amber (I've heard it's an equine favorite).

Well. I'll give her a chance. Whilst doilies don't make me guffaw, they do always get a chuckle out of me.

Strictly speaking though, I'd have liked to see Eddie's horse instead. Or maybe Abdul.

In Response to zamphir (#3276):

Yes, this is an interesting choice. Is she the permanent replacement, or just a short-notice stand-in?

The trouble, of course, is that she is not an animal.

Pedants: Yes, I know that humans are animals, and so you might say in the strict sense of the word she is an animal. I would reply that she is, in the strict sense, not human at all, but rather an ink-and-pencil sketch given the illusion of personality through the magical skills of Jon, and therefore not an animal. You could then point out that Diablo and Toothgnip, in this same strict sense, are not animals. It is for this reason that I am not speaking in such a strict sense, and therefore claim, using the more common dichotomy of "human" vs. "animal" (the same time-honored dichotomy which has helped to ensure that Goats doesn't get syndicated [goats.com]) that Mrs. Beasley is not an animal.

So, if she does remain as a full-time part of the Goats advice panel, then the simple ATA name for the column is misleading. It becomes something more like ATAoTFFMOTAT.

In Response to mea37 (#3280):

ATAoTFFMOTAT

Is that one too many F's? Or is there a word I'm not getting in "Ask the Animals or the Fifth Member of the A-Team"?

Also, what is the proper way to acronym a hyphenated word?

In Response to zamphir (#3282):

I'd think the extra F is for quality!

No, wait. I mean that the extra F is for Forgotten.

In Response to Chad (#3283):

L is for value.

In Response to zamphir (#3284):

I thought L was fifty.

In Response to jon (#3292):

Is Ken (luvrhino) that old?

In Response to zamphir (#3282):

You can never have too many F's.

Damn it, now that diablo is on vacation, how am I supposed to get evil advice and pony recipies? I should have gotten off my ass a while ago to ask his advice when I had the chance, because now all we'll be getting is advice about said ass.

In Response to jettaboy20 (#3451):

Perhaps you can ask for Pony recipies from these guys [petsorfood.com]

In Response to zamphir (#2081):

America must truly be a great place. First pizza, now THIS!!!

When they deliver it, does it come already carved, or do you have to perform your own ritual on a live one?

In Response to unFalln (#3568):

While I admit it's nice to have pony available at the finer grocery stores...

We Americans don't have a ready supply of camel [ourestore.com.au].

In Response to zamphir (#3455):

That site is really sick. The worst part is there's no indicator that the site isn't real. I couldn't work it out. I had to actually order a koala and attempt to load the checkout to find whether it was having me on.

And even worse still, there isn't any pony recipes. they seem to be too obsessed with sweet and sour kitten.

Pablo scares me. I hope he's not taking over from Diablo until he gets back!

Yes. Scared. And I don't want to go to church. Not even for priest-sex.

Can I assume from the tone of my answer and that since Pablo is diablo's evil brother that he's good?

In Response to mcgrue (#3772):

Priest-sex is evil.

Encouraging priest-sex is evil.

I think Jon is implying that Pablo is Diablo's Evil-But-Not-A-Satanist brother. Evil atheist style, I guess.

Plus, all chickens are evil. Kinda like squirrels, but not as organized.

In Response to zamphir (#3774):

Gangs of militant squirrels are the worst. Last summer when I was in Cesky Krumlow (a small town in the Czech Republic) there were two gangs of squirrels. Each were tagged with their own gang colours - red and green. The devastation that was visited upon parts of the town was horrendous. I still fear squirrels.