The computer I'm writing this on (a Mac... anybody know a good, free, general-purpose coder's editor for OS 9.x?...) has a "Kung Fu Hamster" sitting on the shelf next to it. When you squeeze his cute, fuzzy, front-left paw, he sings about a verse and a half of "Kung Fu Fighting" while twirling a pair of nunchaku in his front-right paw. It's noticeably worse than those stupid "Billy Bass" things, because he takes longer to get done, and worse than the similar Christmas-themed crap because it doesn't get put away for eleven months a year. Even the talking Barney dolls are something of an improvement, because those at least make good targets. (Merlin's friend Kate practices on one with her coach whip. "SNAP!" "I looove you!" Ohhh, yeah.)

So, is this actually the most evil toy ever?