For reasons I cannot divulge, it would be wrong of me at this stage to explain exactly why this auction is up, but I felt it was important that I share it with all of you:

Here 'tis. [ebay.com]

So, you're selling soap. Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Just because you can post almost anything to this forum, doesn't mean that you should.

In Response to Dynedain (#7066):

I was encouraged to do so by the proprietor.

In Response to Beeeej (#7099):

Well isn't that just like SPAMMING?

In Response to Beeeej (#7099):

I was encouraged to do so by the proprietor.

I’m often encouraged to do things by proprietors of commercial ventures, but I don’t always do what they say.

If I did, I’d have my house painted every two weeks, I’d receive five local newspapers and eat three dozen meals of fast food a day. I’d own about eighteen vehicles, most of them the Sports Utility kind, all of which would be packed full of the piles and piles of consumer crap that I would have bought each day with the 500,000 credit cards I’d have signed up for.

It’s not always a good idea to listen to proprietors.

However, I do have to say that buying a scum-covered, half-used bar of old soap would probably be healthier and less offensive than most of the things listed above.
 

In Response to Beeeej (#7099):

I was encouraged to do so by the proprietor.

Mostly that was so you'd leave me alone and bother some other people.

In Response to jon (#7130):

Mostly that was so you'd leave me alone and bother some other people.

I'm obviously not trying hard enough.

You don't encourage me to do anything. Well, other than some anatomical impossibilites - but that's just your New York way of showing affection, right?

In Response to zamphir (#7134):

No, see Beeeeeeeej is the stinky rotten meat that I feed to you, the rabid dog, so you will stop barking.

Thus, I take care of both the stinkiness and the loud noises all at once, earning myself a much deserved peaceful sleep.

In Response to jon (#7141):

Thus, I take care of both the stinkiness and the loud noises all at once, earning myself a much deserved peaceful sleep.

You've obviously never actually fed rotten meat to a dog, or you'd know that it would only give you at best another half hour of peaceful sleep, before the dog was waking you up by puking on your face.

In Response to jon (#7141):

Besides which, I'm not a rabid dog.

I might be a Bitin' Dog, but that's a little different.

In Response to Dynedain (#7066):

I just read this thread and for once I agree whole-heartedly with Dynedain. Furthermore, who would want to buy your used soap? That's just....Sorry, words elude me at the moment.....Ok, That's just horribly wrong.

In Response to Yoshi (#7175):

just once? awww....i gotta try harder then ;)

In Response to Yoshi (#7175):

Ok, That's just horribly wrong.

That's kind of the point.

As for who would want to buy it - well, apparently someone's willing to pay one cent plus 37 cents postage, or else they wouldn't have bid.

In Response to Beeeej (#7252):

No, you see, if something is just wrong, then you have to do it.

For instance, if you see someone else's unopened beer and they're not paying attention then you know it's wrong to take it and drink it before they notice. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

However, when something is horribly wrong that means you're not supposed to do it.

I'm talking HORRIBLY wrong like gasing Kurds in your own country.
Horribly wrong like a 36 year old Britney Spears married to a redneck and singing "Hit me baby one more time"

Finally, if someone bought if for a penny then they probably accidentally hit the bid button.

Either that or they were French and the only soap they feel they can use is dirty soap. Stinky French.

In Response to Beeeej (#7099):

So... why didn't you do this in Blatant Self-Promotion? Isn't this what this is?

Am I just confused here?

In Response to Yoshi (#7342):

For instance, if you see someone else's unopened beer and they're not paying attention then you know it's wrong to take it and drink it before they notice. BUT YOU HAVE TO DO IT.

However, if you did that i'd have to kick your ass because i know you only did it because you are evil. Doing something you hate to spite another person is an example of horribly wrong.

In Response to AsphaltBuffet (#7359):

if you did that i'd have to kick your ass

Don't let us stop you. We'll just stand over there, in the corner, pointing and lauging.

In Response to AsphaltBuffet (#7359):

>Doing something you hate to spite another person is an example of horribly wrong.

Spite is it's own reward.

And while I'm dispensing Sith platitudes...

Mockery is the sincerest form of flattery.