Okay, in the interests of chaos, or at least silliness, and because I've always (*) wanted to start one of these discussion thingies, I think it is time I got you all to insult some guy none of you know.

Basically, I've known this guy for about six years now, and throughout this time he has been universally known as "Tricky". His real name is Richard, so "Tricky Dicky". So far, so what. The problem begins when you hear the story of where he got the name from. I'm not going to tell you - it's too dull.

That's the problem. Intriguing nickname, dull reason.

The solution? Reverse engineer a cool, disturbing or at least wildly insulting story about how he gained his name. Over to you... Basically the best stories we can generate will become the official truth. All of them, even if they're contradictory. I'll repeat them in pubs, and because they will be so much more interesting than the story that happened, the world will believe!

Have fun!

Cheers,
Graham

(*) Warning. May be blatant lie.

Well, you see, the reason he's called tricky is that there's a certain spot just below his right earlobe that if kissed properly by an attractive woman, causes him to collapse into a puddle of flesh and bones on the floor.

It was his rap name, MC Tricky Dicky.

In Response to Evander (#4035):

Wasn't Tricky Trip-hop?

When he was younger he dropped out of college to go on a self discovery trip through India. Got caught up in some weird arse left over Beatle commune and took on his new name which is a corruption of Turr'ah Ki Eeh.

someone else can work out the meaning.

Or tell them the same story but it was a star wars fan commune and he took the name as his jedi name.... yeah, that one, the star wars...

In Response to tor (#4048):

I'm sorry, the image of a Jedi Nixon is more than I can bear.

'Cause he can rock a rhyme that's right on time?

In Response to mea37 (#4113):

Maybe he has tinted windows.. but we know who's inside.

In Response to tor (#4126):

Man, I heard some people even bother his poor father, cuz the two of them are down and all.

Here's one for you:

A song by Country Joe and the Fish [well.com]

I'm sure the nick name pre dates the song, but it's interesting nonetheless.

So we went to this strip bar one time, right? Me, Tricky Dicky and a couple of the guys. We'd been gettin pretty sloshed for a few hours and watching Miss Ivanna do her routine up on the runway. While we're discussing the best way to exploit her assets a guy at the next table happens to mention she'll do anything for some X. Well, ol' Tricky Dicky pulls some aspirin out of his pocket, chops 'em up on the bar and stumbles over to the table Miss Ivanna was sitting at (after her show of course) and proceeds to line all that powder up ON HIS DICK! We're not sure why he thought anyone would wanna snort ecstasy but the fact remains he thought he was bein pretty damn tricky. Shit man, we barely got out of that bar with his skull intact.

Huh? Tricky? Yeah, he's an old pal. Shit, I was the one that hooked him up with my aunt, what a lucky night for him.

His name? That goes back to his Navy days. See, on those long submarine voyages, men get very lonely, so he started doing "favors" for his friends, hence his name. No, not "Turning Tricks" you sick monkey, the captan would allow each man to use the com center to download porn if they solved a crossword puzzle. Old tricky would help them figgure out their crossword puzzle to get them their porn rations, and the puzzles were tricky. But that wasn't why he got that name. He was paid money for every puzzle he helped with, and eventually used the money, and the favor from the crew, to let him buy parts to fix up parts of the sub, like a fox tail on the pariscope, a phallical mural covering the bow, and a rope on the back for waterskiing. He even converted the cooler system for the reactor into a jaccuzi. It glowed in the dark, so you didn't need pool lights. That sub was tricked out, you see. But even that isn't it. The sub was so impressive that the Admiral's wife took a liking to him, and once on shore leave he was invited to her house. Things were going well when the admiral got home from his daily outing to the firing range with his personal AR-15 (civilian M-16). It was a tricky situation and he needed to calm down. He tried to get something to calm his nerves, but the dealer tricked him into buying a bag of oregano. He was tricked bad, hence why we call him Tricky.

Now, where is that waitress with my beer?