I have interesting thoughts.

What are they?

revolution in the streets based on fermented dairy product availability.

I have colored garments.

What are they?

In Response to tor (#2065):

Shirts, ties, and kilts carefully color coordinated for maximum clash using Geek Outfitter.

I have unusual diseases.

What symptoms do I exhibit?

In Response to zamphir (#2066):

Sausage-scented body odor, acne on your eyelids, and the inability to move more than one finger at a time.

I have unusual talents.

What are they?

In Response to Dynedain (#2069):

You are immune to rickets and beriberi, but sadly enough, not to scurvy. You can play the Clash's "London Calling" in its entirety using only your armpits. You are irresistible to cows.

I've got a number of irrational fears.

What are they?

In Response to TheMooseKing (#2073):

You are afraid of numerators (but not denominators). Late at night when you're trying to fall asleep but just can't get there, you are kept awake by the growing dread that somewhere, somehow Tom Hanks is spying on you. You misread a newsreport on the terrorist front and now fear all men named "Al".

I've got diabolical plans.

What are they?

In Response to misere (#2076):

You plan to rip the tags off of matresses.

You plan to sneak pop-up ads onto goats.com.

You plan to mix recyclables with other garbage.

You plan to convince Blockbuster to apply their "no rewinding" fee to DVD's

I have pointless but valuable collectables.

What are they?

In Response to mea37 (#2079):

Lots and lots of Ty beanies, Star Trek redshirts, autographed Milli Vanilli albums, and Goats.com travel mugs.

I have uncontrollable desires.

What are they?

In Response to coolhand (#2085):

You desire to be rolled in chocolate and pushed into a room with teenage girls. You desire Captain Kirk, without his toupee and girdle. You desire Diablo, Topato, and Cecil the Guinea Pig as special special friends.

I have strange pets.

What are they?

In Response to goat_girl (#2086):

Cats. Just Cats

I have obsceure body parts.

What are they?

In Response to the_fetus (#2091):

A superfluous third spleen. Also, a superfluous second spleen.

I've been reading some very interesting books lately.

What are they?

In Response to TheMooseKing (#2092):

Goats books, of course!

I have secret identities.

What are they?

In Response to annabanana (#2093):

Staropraman and Speak 'n Spell.

I have an abundance of cleaning products.

What are they?

In Response to Dynedain (#2100):

45 cases of Pledge. You need as many oaths in your life as possible.

I have dreadful sense of purposes.

What are they?

In Response to tor (#2101):

You will not rest unitl you've finally completed the script for that cartoon version of Proust's "Remembrance of Things Past". You know, the one with the three singing ducks?

I'm suffering from a moral dilemma.

What is it?

In Response to TheMooseKing (#2168):

Having just picked your nose, you wrestle with the immortal question of whether to eat it or wipe it.

I have started a compelling yet ineffectual religion.

What are my commandments?

In Response to zamphir (#2177):

Thou shalt not swallow gum.
Thou shalt not make U-turns on 2 lane highways.
Thou shalt not eat thine own boogers.
Thou shalt not use a 700MB cd to burn one mp3 to show all thine friends in the computer lab at college and then pull out all thine previous one-song burned cds to listen to the other songs thou hast burned and thus fill the computer lab with thine wasteful refuse and then hum inane star trek parody songs and annoy those who art trying to do real work such as posting on goats or wrestling with moral dilemmas related to boogers and their final resting places.
Thou shalt not wear vulcan ears for halloween unless you are going to a party where you will be drunk and it doesn't matter.
Amen.

I have affinities for bizarre sleeping positions.

What are they?

In Response to AsphaltBuffet (#2187):

Face down with your butt in the air like the way babies (whose parents don't care that they might suffocate) sleep. Also, with all four limbs sticking up, like a silly dog.

I have a variety of interesting ways of passing the time on my graveyard shift.

What are they?

In Response to Manda (#2271):

Sleeping, napping, snoozing, lying down on the job, taking 40 winks, and zonking out.

I have ways of making you talk.

What are they?

In Response to Evander (#2289):

Zey are vays ov makink you talk!

I have interesting pets.

What are they?

In Response to tor (#2305):

A complete collection of Chia Pets. Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia!

I enjoy strange alcoholic beverages.

What are they?

In Response to Dynedain (#2308):

You only enjoy beverages made with BubbleGum Schnapps that are served out of sneakers found hung off of telephone wires.

I have tattoos in unusual places on my body.

Where are they?

In Response to zamphir (#2312):

you have the words "AUGUST 3RD, 2002 --- EMPIRE STATE BUILDING --- NYC --- 4PM" on your left arm, and a barcode representation of data in an undisclosed location of your body.

I have interesting web sites in my "favorites"

What are they?

In Response to coolhand (#2317):

Various Strom Thurmond fan sites.

I was stopped by political activitsts today.

What did they stand for?

In Response to Evander (#2334):

Nobody respects a political activist so lazy that he just sits down constantly.

My attempt to apply to graduate school will be unexpectedly derailed because I forgot to do something.

What did I forget?

In Response to TheMooseKing (#2338):

To get your Bachelors Degree.

I died in an peculiar way.

How did I die?