In honor of this wonderful day...

 My pirate name is: Mad James Bonney

 Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

 Get your own pirate name [piratequiz.com] from piratequiz.com.

My pirate name is: Black William Flint

Like anyone confronted with the harshness of robbery on the high seas, you can be pessimistic at times. Like the rock flint, you're hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you're easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!

Arr, that website be runnin' slower than a fishin' trawler through the Doldrums. I intends ta learn my pirate moniker at a later time, when all the landlubbers have cleared out.

My pirate name is: already posted [goats.com].

And I thought yours was Mad Tom Kidd... going through an identity crises are we?

My pirate name is: Guy

There. Honestly, was that so difficult to fix without sounding like an ass?

... Wait a moment, forgot who I was talking to. Of course it was, and we wouldn't want it any other way.

There. Honestly, was that so difficult to fix without sounding like an ass?

That only works if your message appears after his. Which it doesn't in the view I'm using.

So, yes, it's difficult to fix. I could probably manage it, but Phillip would be very cranky.

... Wait a moment, forgot who I was talking to. Is this where I pretend to forget that you have breasts, just so I can steer the topic of conversation towards your breasts?

we wouldn't want it any other way. Excellent. The conditioning has worked.

was that so difficult to fix without sounding like an ass?

 yes, if it has to do with deerboy, it has to be as difficult as possible.