New game! New game!

Tell me what the rules are and if I agree a prize will be awarded as long as the rules explicitly allow me to randomly decide a winner.

This is a Forum Version of Mornington Crescent [goats.com]. I think there is at least a nice tee-shirt involved in the prize; as Jon needs all the revenue he can get right now.

I will start you of with:
1. Any rule that states who the winner is, is to be disregarded.
2. All rules are negotiable.

<aside>
When will dearboy attack?
Will Zamphir win?
Why do I regret this?
</aside>

The Old Kent Road to Kennedy Space Centre is not a valid move for FMC games started on Wednesday; except when used to end the Rushton Gambit.

Any route that does not involve a recursive html link is invalid, excluding this [goats.com]route.

Only iced tea may be drank during the traditional "Goat Stomping Warmup" round prior to the last roll call.

And if you reach the end of the internet, you get to shoot free throws.

2 missed free throws invokes 1955 Shazaam Overthrust parry mode. All rebounds are reversed and saddles issued to Bavarian midgets (withholding owl-huntress patch immunity).

There is NOOOOOO rule number 6.

Rule number 7 is that every rule Zamphir makes is non-negotiable except for the ones that are not obviously incorrect. Obviously incorrect rules are to be filled away in a file labelled, "Pickle Consortium."

After any player collects six non-invariant plot point tokens (or the players get bored, whichever is first) everything goes batshit insane and changes [goats.com].

Next player then starts at St John's Wood, with all other players out of knip, reverse passing unblocked (unless it's a friday afternoon) and the standard beck 1952 variation in play. With fries.

Black 10 on red Jack.

The first player in the queue starts a rumour of free chips and ale at Ruislip Gardens [goats.com], which clears the queue. Unfortunately, it was the queue for the next train to Tower Gateway.

Touching the flag with the Calvinball means that you have to sing the "I'm very sorry" song.

Peculiar Pub to Punnett Square

Black 10 on red Jack

*sigh*
Someone always has to try the Mayfair/Marylebone pearl backstep. I was sure that was banned at the 1976 IMCC for all games involving three or more left handed players.

And don't even think of trying the Brooke-Taylor/Oddie double play; the Waterloo amd City line is out of action for the next few months.

Are you implying that the rules are made up? How very dare you!

I'm going to dock you three slices of Edam; that sends you back to Birmingham NEC.

I do not recognize the schismatics who organized the 1976 so-called "IMCC". Lefties have to take their lumps like the rest of us. I agree, however, with the amendments regarding ambidextrians. We have to play fair, after all.

In any case, to appease your misguided soul, I offer:

The game is suspended when one player's lead exceeds 1241, and the game must be replayed in its entirety, except during a Frotz Moon or in a 6-player game where at least 3 players are of Mithican ancestry.

A player may wear a scrum cap as a protection for the ears or against abrasions from hard ground. This headwear may be made of fabric or leather without additional padding. There must be no projections and it may not be construed as a helmet.

Nothing of the sort. I merely stated the rule that describbes how to handle the act of a specific player stating rules that may or may not be incorrect statements. There's always a rule describing the consquences of stating rules that are not correct. That said, I appear to be going nowhere.

The game can never be played with the same set of rules twice.

You said that last time!

Inverted scrotum tucks are not allowed. Triple bypass nipple clamps with a Hindu razzletazz earn said player +5 mammary tokens and a milkshake (no malt).

Ah, The lovely Samantha will have a difficult time keeping the score of this game.

Upon making a upward thrusting entendré that places the player within three stops of Cockfosters, a player may invoke an axial pub move [goats.com], to reloacte the entire game to any [greywulf.net] other [catwreck.com] version [catwreck.com] of [bluebones.net] the [geofftech.co.uk] underground [catwreck.com]

And in the case of any jealousy inspired by this game, the next move must be Turnham Green

Alas, on Fridays following Thursdays that did not have an official Thursday CliffHanger Poll, all stations that include "Green" in the name are closed for repainting.

Cars attempting to stop at Turnham Green are redirected to Ladbroke Grove.

Samantha has gone for a lie down.

Airline boarding passes may only be used to revert the previously overturned backwardisation of an underfielded lefthanded reverse clockwise-motion lateral retreat.

On Sunday.

Those allocated seat 19A [goats.com] must leave the seat in the fully upright position throughout the duration of the flight. In the event the cabin loses pressure, nitrous oxide masks will be provided. Securing one's own mask first before helping others will earn a forfeit.

Those passengers that elect to change their seat at the ticket counter will win a free, all-intrusive trip to the extra special security line, in which the elderly and those with heart conditions are strongly encouraged to have cardiac incidents by the guranteed-to-surprise-even-the-deaf air puffers.