I'm using dial-up. Somebody shoot me and take all the pain away; or at least try to make me feel better. I am looking for comfort in these dark days; for we are poor and unable to acquire anything faster at the moment [1], and are using -cringe- AOL [2].

[1]What's the best way to go for an affordable, faster internet connection?

[2]Which "provider" would you reccomend?