So, I recently became aware of a fabulous [amazon.com] brand new product [bananaguard.com].

And it comes in such pretty colors! [bananaguard.com]. It's a veritable rainbow [pflag.com]! Can't you just taste [skittles.com] it?

The only problem is that their F.A.Q [bananaguard.com] seems... incomplete...

	4% (1)	Is this product approved by Pork-O-Tron 3000?
	9% (2)	Does it come in black?
	27% (6)	Will this product protect my sausage?
	18% (4)	Why does the minestrone keep leaking out?
	18% (4)	Do I win a prize if I collect all 9?
	22% (5)	Can I get a "carrying" strap?

I have a department meeting in a couple of hours, and instead of concentrating on the agenda items, I will now sit through the whole thing thinking of this product and its FAQ.

Which means you have saved my morning. I owe you one.

The only problem is that their F.A.Q seems... incomplete...


Well, at least they gave it a shot:

Q: "Is there a battery attachment?"

A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.

I felt a little dirty just looking at that page. I'm glad none of my co-workers happened by.

I think this poll demonstrates the clear victory of minestrone over sausage.

And a comparatively large number of people interested in straps.

In Response to zamphir (#30138):

I think this poll demonstrates the clear victory of minestrone over sausage.

Hmph. Only because you didn't specify what kind of sausage. I'll take an Andouille or almost any kind of chorizo over minestrone any day. But I'd certainly rather have minestrone than any b[a-z]+wurst.

In Response to mkinyon (#30144):

You live much to close to Wisconsin not have had a proper brat, which is a thing of sublimnity and beauty - especially with lots of onion and mustard.

I bet you don't eat goetta [allrecipes.com] either...

Not that, mind you, even though I live in Baltimore, do I eat scrapple [velvitoil.com].

In Response to zamphir (#30145):

Your English seems somewhat ... ungooded, Z.
 

In Response to gtyrrell (#30146):

Your English seems somewhat ... ungooded, Z.

Too much Yoda [google.com], says I.

In Response to zamphir (#30145):

You live much to close to Wisconsin not have had a proper brat

Not that close. I have not been there long enough to partake of a meal in over 25 years, and then I wouldn't have known the difference. The Wisconsinians must keep the good brats (oxymoron semi-intentional) a closely guarded secret.

Why do I now have the feeling that Snipergirl is going to reply "You're an oxymoron"?

I bet you don't eat goetta either...

Sounds very ... chewy, especially with steel-cut oats.

live in Baltimore ... eat scrapple

I wasn't aware it was associated with your city, but Dr. Internet has now corrected this obvious deficiency in my education. I first learned of that alleged delicacy in one of Rex Stout's Nero Wolfe novels, but have never had the gumption to try it.

In Response to mkinyon (#30152):

I had Scrapple once when my grandmother prepared it for breakfast, decades ago when i was rather young. At the time it seemed edible, but i might have been only half-awake, and i think she disguised it with some eggs and onions and other stuff fried together, so i only noticed that it was salty. Years later, as a young adult, i cooked a portion once for myself and found it so repulsive i immediately discarded the rest of the tin.

Scrapple (to me) is like Spam without the glamour-- i.e., unpalatable and closer to crapple than to Sporkle. It was enough to turn me off other kinds of animal products such as sausage for a little while.

But now that i look back, i recall that i was putting myself through college by working at McDonald's at the time (among other odd jobs), probably around the age of eighteen. My distaste for McDonald's and all of its associated products then drove me to years of vegetarianism; this may have been a factor simultaneously. Years later i began eating animals again, but i still tend to turn my nose up at some of the more suspicious sausage-y things unless i'm ravenous.

Your cravings for sausage-y things might be based on entirely different preferences, so please take mine 'with a grain of salt'.

In Response to Teledildonix (#30153):

Scrapple (to me) is like Spam without the glamour

Scrapple is deliberately low-brow.

This is kind of like complaining that Natty Bo is cheap beer.

Or that only rednecks listen to Skynyrd.

In Response to zamphir (#30160):

Scrapple ... Natty Bo

Well, looking for the silver lining: at least one can find decent blue crab in your city.

...only rednecks listen to Skynyrd.

Gah! "Freebird". Thanks loads. I'd better put on some Phil+ip Glass as an antidote. Only elitist snobs listen to Glass.

In Response to zamphir (#30138):

I think this poll demonstrates the clear victory of minestrone over sausage.

I think this poll now demonstrates the power of the anything-to-prove-Zamphir-wrong faction. Not that any further demonstration was needed.