We've got a new masters student in the office next to mine. After hours, he persistently plays Bollywood soundtracks at an aggravatingly high volume. Sometimes he sings along, in a piercing falsetto.

I have set up an audio retaliatory system, based on the most obnoxious music in my iTunes library. What should I run with?

	6% (2)	Gilbert and Sullivan Karaoke
	10% (3)	Madame Butterfly, 3 CD set
	6% (2)	Soft-core elevator music by a friend's band
	56% (17)	An extensive collection of pirate sea shanties
	3% (1)	Apparently we can now have more than five poll options
	3% (1)	Hey, who knew?
	13% (4)	Ubiquitous salami choice

You don't really seem to have any music that he would feel was offensive, at least in my experience with people who play Bollywood music very loudly.

Particularly the kind that needs piercing falsetto.

Just play "Nevermind" over and over and over and over again.

After hours,...

What the heck are you doing there after hours?!?

In Response to zamphir (#28328):

I'm going with this one. Please accept my vote for salami as a vote for Cobain.

In Response to unFalln (#28330):

Could i accept your salami and vote for Hole?

Oohh... too late, i already chose salami.

In Response to Rich (#28329):

It's warm, and has internet access, which my house doesn't.

Not work, obviously, but you already knew that.

In Response to Teledildonix (#28331):

I didn't offer my salami, I offered my vote for salami.

...as a stand-in for a vote for Cobain.

...as a possible audible retaliatory measure.

...measure as in procedure.

...procedure as in... ARGHHRHHRHHGGHGRHHHH!!!!!

)*($&@^%^#@(*^*#@$^!@*(%^#@($!!!!

It looks like the sea-shanties are receiving unprecedented voting success!

I should have them run for Congress.

In Response to tynic (#28335):

Translate some monotonous piece of congressional gerrymandering into a rolling piratesque dialog.
Have it recorded by R. Kelly to a Hip-Hop soundtrax, over dubbed with sailing FX.

Pump up the sound on your PC.

Enjoy.

I have set up an audio retaliatory system, based on the most obnoxious music in my iTunes library. What should I run with?

try this [sanjabi.com]

Call it fighting fire with fire.

That's an mp3 link, by the way. For those of you who don't want your ears to bleed, you can just read this [timesonline.co.uk]

In Response to tynic (#28335):

There must be some Bollywood films that involve pirates. I see potential for beautiful, chaotic, piratic collaboration with a Bangra beat and large production numbers!

In Response to Llamarama (#28345):

... wow, you're right. If they don't exist, we should certainly make some!

Casting suggestions, anyone? I'm thinking Sanjeev Bhaskar as the dashing pirate captain.

In Response to tynic (#28350):

Neither Daniel Day Lewis nor Stephen Seagal have played pirates yet, have they?

In Response to Deathalicious (#28339):

Okay, right. No replies. Whatever.

But did anybody at least *listen* to the thing? I'm curious. I mean, it's only the greatest song, ever.

In Response to Deathalicious (#28352):

Ok, I'll bite. Give me a minute.

If this turns out to be ear-bleedingly awful I'll ... probably need to give you a high-five, actually.

Meet me in the town square.

In Response to unFalln (#28351):

Day Lewis is the only one of those two I'd expect to be capable of growing a luxuriant Bollywood hero-moustache (hereafter referred to as the Hemo).

He's certainly in with a shot. Maybe as the villain.

Would now be a good time to wax lyrical about Kevin Kline and the Pirates of Penzance?

In Response to tynic (#28354):

Would now be a good time to wax lyrical about Kevin Kline and the Pirates of Penzance?

Is it Leap Year again already?

In Response to Deathalicious (#28352):

Yes, i listened to its entirety. It shows that some people will do anything for money. So maybe i should have voted for "Hey, who knew?"; but instead, you'll understand that the Power Of Ubiquitous Salami compelled me.

raging Dutch Hardcore techno, for the first 2 minutes, its kind of fun, it makes updating databases seem "intense" but eventually its just like being kicked in the ear over and over again, and if it ever stops, its only for a second, and thats to scream excerpts from a violent gangster or horror movie......

In Response to Deathalicious (#28352):

Okay, right. No replies. Whatever.

It took some of us a few days to recover from our seizures.

In Response to deerboy (#28418):

I've heard it so many times now that I actually...like it.

.

My god, what's wrong with me?

I suggest (as a last resort) an assorted collection of Raffi the Childrens Tormentor...
Either Death or Insanity will set in.
If you, yourself can stand it..
                                                                                     
I hope his office is not next to a window...
                                                                                       

In Response to Gentoo666 (#28791):

I can think of other tactics equally annoying that potentially could lead to death.

Since we have someone else to thank for "rescuing" this thread from the edge of death...

Can we have an update from tynic?

Have you implemented any suggestions? Has there been success? Failure? Lack of response?

In Response to zamphir (#28801):

I'm not sure how much of this I've already reported, so I may repeat myself. I have mitigating circumstances involving moving house and the decision to eat everything in the fridge rather than bother shifting it.

ooooh, not good

anyway - I began with Madame Butterfly. He retaliated with 80s synth-pop. I upped the ante to pirate sea-shanties. He went home, and two weeks later, left the country. I count it as a win.