Apparently 1 in 138 Americans are now in jail. So in a spirit of ‘justice for all / lenience for none’, I think we need to know who is the criminal mastermind of goats:the forum. Don’t be shy, Dubya hardly ever reads the postings, tell us what crime you’ve committed.

	10% (3)	Home distillation / cattle mutilation
	21% (6)	Speeding on a bicycle / Cloning of kittens
	28% (8)	Obtaining goods by deception / Selling unlicensed candy bars.
	10% (3)	Drawing on post-it notes / Burning effigies of the President
	28% (8)	Creating stupid polls / Answering stupid polls

I make suspicious sausages.

And sell them on the streets.

Inna bun.

I participated in homosexual sodomy, bondage, fisting, dildonics, and groups sex with multiple members of the military, leading to numerous discharges on several occasions. But i don't believe any authorities ever learned of our activities.

Nolo Contendere!

My cellmate burned her wheelchair-bound husband alive.

In Response to Aubrey (#26999):

The URL for your website [blogspot.com] seems to have a typo in your user info [goats.com].

In Response to Teledildonix (#27000):

thanks for the heads up

In Response to zamphir (#26992):

If you weren't married, and I weren't quite happy in my own relationship, proposals would be forthcoming.

As it stands, though, you'll have to live with declarations of undying love for C.M.O.T. Dibbler.

In Response to Aubrey (#26999):

It's YOU!

How are you Gentlemen? All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction.

What you SAY?!?!

In Response to sakuruth (#27005):

If you weren't married, and I weren't quite happy in my own relationship

So.. my own state of happiness in my marriage has nothing to do with the equation?

How nicely amoral of you. :-)

In Response to zamphir (#27016):

Since when is refusing to make passes/proposals at married guys regardless of their happiness in the marriage amoral?

I would consider going around hitting on guys you know are unhappily married to be less moral.

In Response to porcupine8 (#27019):

Since when is refusing to make passes/proposals at married guys regardless of their happiness in the marriage amoral?
She laid out conditions in which she would "make a pass/proposal". None of which included my marital happinesss.

I confess I am guilty of hording Girl Scout Thin Mints. I plan to sell the case I bought this winter on E-bay this summer and make a mint!

In Response to sentdata (#27021):

You bought them on Ebay? I have been collecting them in small amounts over the past couple years.

In Response to sakuruth (#27005):

You've gotta love a man who can cook.

...oh wait. He can't?

I like it onna stick better. That way, when you're done, you have a stick.

In Response to zamphir (#27020):

Well she did say If you weren't married... which doesn't seem terribly amoral. But yes, she doesn't care if you are happily married or unhappily, so long as you are not married.

In Response to Deathalicious (#27024):

Mine can. Why do you think I'm so happy with him?

Although you have a point about the stick. Sticks are good for poking things with.

More generally, my phrasing was actually as it stood because I am not married, nor am I engaged. I expect to reach both stages eventually, but neither is an accurate or adequate explanation for why nobody is getting a proposal from me, regardless of their current marital state.

In Response to sakuruth (#27026):

You've gotta love a man who can cook.
One of the major reasons my wife married me.

Mine can
I think he was referring to the guy you proposed to, rather than your guy, or me. (snarky comment about tynic removed for humorous effect.)

But yes, she doesn't care if you are happily married or unhappily, so long as you are not married.
A winner! Yay!

In Response to sentdata (#27021):

You really need an entire contingent of barbarians to steal cookies from girl scouts? All I need is a big stick.

In Response to sentdata (#27053):

98 posts and a thought ain't one.

In Response to sentdata (#27053):

"horde" does not equal "hoard".

"your" does not equal "you're".

These are homonyms. They sound the same but mean different things. The "b" in "subtle" is also silent.

In Response to snipergirl (#27009):

well, I have the same dna as myself, which tells you nothing!

In Response to sakuruth (#27026):

why nobody is getting a proposal from me

I'm thinking that this has something to do with that stick you keep talking about.

In Response to Aubrey (#27062):

I have the same dna as myself

No, in fact it tells me everything I need to know.

In Response to deerboy (#27067):

Nah, that one I just keep for communicating with people when I am too lazy to get up and walk across the room to do it with my fist.

In Response to Teledildonix (#27057):

You are right. I've got to stop posting from work. I can't give it the time it warrants. But on the plus side my master plan cost me my last karma! ;-)

In Response to sentdata (#27080):

Well, you've gotta respect a man who can laugh at himself.

Especially when he has reason to.