Wendy's Chili, made from only the finest all natural ingredients [reuters.com].

At least there's no mad cow disease to worry about.

In Response to Rich (#26296):

Who do you think bit off the finger?

Brings a whole new meaning to finger food. And I bet it taste like chicken. Yummmmmmmmmmmmmm!

In Response to zamphir (#26297):

A polite landshark?

In Response to Rich (#26302):

CANDYGRAM!

In Response to zamphir (#26297):

Jerrell.

Duh.

In Response to 3mj4y (#26306):

Both a landshark and Jerrell would have finished the finger, had they bitten it off in the first place.

Cows are herbivorous.

There's one way of getting rid of the body.

Me, I prefer pigs.

In Response to Deathalicious (#26308):

"The secret's in the sauce, Miss Ruth."

On a vaguely related topic, i think Michael Valentine Smith generally had the right idea. It seems odd to me that so many people care about their corpse disposal in the first place, and i don't clearly understand why people have these feelings and concerns. The logic of Epicurus seems self-evident (to me): "Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not."

I wonder whether the finger at Wendy's came from a live person or a corpse. Either way, it probably won't have much impact on their business in the long run. I mean, consider how Jack-In-The-Box killed a half-dozen customers in my region with e. coli a few years ago, and yet their business is booming around here. People have short memories, and massive PR campaigns tend to influence the easily brainwashed populace.

In Response to Deathalicious (#26308):

Me, I prefer pigs.

So you see, you can never trust a man who keeps pigs.

In Response to Deathalicious (#26308):

Me, I prefer pigs.

Yeah, bacon tastes good.

In Response to zamphir (#26310):

I believe it just might be "be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm."

And, apparently, Princess Bride references are still more obscure than Snatch ones.

In Response to 3mj4y (#26311):

Yeah, bacon tastes good.

Non-sequitor?

More on-topic: do you taste good?

In Response to Teledildonix (#26309):

It seems odd to me that so many people care about their corpse disposal in the first place, and i don't clearly understand why people have these feelings and concerns.

Oh, I don't know. I mean, I know that I don't want my body eaten. I know it doesn't make sense, but there it is. I also know that I don't want my corpse sodomized, burned, dragged across asphalt, etc.

Yeah, I guess it is just vanity, I suppose.

However, people get this way about a lot of things that are no longer their concern. I mean, let's say you're leaving town and you have to give up your dog for adoption. You're hoping it goes to a nice home, not a Korean restaurant, you know what I'm saying? Now, it matters to the *dog* what happens to it, but not really to you all that much. Nevertheless, you still care.

I think, in the same way, it matters to the people you leave behind who care about you. My mom has made it very clear what she wants to happen when she dies: she wants to be buried in a plain pine box, and she wants to be late to her funeral (which means that everyone will be sitting there, and then we'll all run the casket in 10 minutes after everyone's arrived). Will she actually care about what happens?

Maybe, if souls exist.

Oh, and here's a scary thought: we only *think* consciousness ends when people die. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe people are sort of like zombies: they don't breath, speak, there's no electrical activity or anything, but they can hear everything, see everything (unless you close their eyes for them) and feel everything.

I'm not having an open-casket funeral (I think that's just too weird and tacky, frankly. I don't want anyone to say "He looks so peaceful" or "It hardly looks like him, does it" or even "They did a good job"), but if I did I would definitely have to have my body hooked up to an electro-shock machine with a timer, so that midway through the funeral I'd suddenly jerk up out of the casket and start flailing around. That would just be too awesome.

In Response to Teledildonix (#26309):

Personally, and I've been giving great thought about this of late, I'd either like to be eaten at my funeral, or creamated and have my resultant carbon made into, in part or whole, a synthetic diamond. Either has more appeal to me than being stuffed in a box in the ground and then having my faithful intestinal bacteria eat away at me until the gassy bi-products make my corpse explode.

However, being turned into a diamond has more appeal to me mainly because my descendants could hawk me in time of need! Become an heirloom for your heirs!

Now... it's just a matter of finding a place with permissive enough regulation concerning human remains and last wishes. Honestly, people are such crybabies about the inanimate slab of meat that used to be grandpa.

In Response to mcgrue (#26328):

my resultant carbon made into, in part or whole, a synthetic diamond

There are people doing this.

people are such crybabies about the inanimate slab of meat that used to be grandpa.
That's what Kevin said.

Back when I was young and pretentious, I used to ask people that if they were irrevocably caught by cannibals, and were bound to be cooked and eaten... In what manner would they like to be prepared?

In Response to Deathalicious (#26326):

I don't want my corpse sodomized, burned, dragged

My corpse will not be i, so i don't have any serious wishes on the topic. However, for the sake of avoiding inconvenience to my friends, i believe a simple pre-paid cremation is an efficient way to spare anybody from hassle. But if there were unexpected developments, and sodomy or dragging were to occur, i have no way of knowing and thus no possibility of caring.

In Response to zamphir (#26329):

In what manner would they like to be prepared?

Theoretically, preparation which results in my unexpected placement on the 99 Cent Value Menu chez Wendy seems like a funny way to achieve sensationalism, but only if the unwitting consumer has a terrific sense of humor. If they felt that laughter was insufficient compensation and proceeded to sue for monetary gain, i suppose it wouldn't be quite so comical.

Maybe the chef can choose a method which combines nutritional value, slow-roasted flavor and juiciness. Did you ever watch Greenaway's The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, And Her Lover? I vaguely recall a pilaf bed of mixed grains, surrounded by asparagus, tomatoes, and other vegetables, and much basting with butter to achieve succulence. But i saw that film too many years ago to remember accurately. The fictional Cook supposedly cared about presentation and dietary benefit as much as flavor and aroma, so i guess his recipe is a decent(?) proposal.

In Response to Teledildonix (#26333):

Did you ever watch Greenaway's The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, And Her Lover?

Saw it, loved it, people with me violently hated it. But remember: sadly, all of The Cook's efforts were nearly for naught. The Thief, having been prodded at gunpoint by His Wife to take a nice healthy bite of Her Lover, was promptly shot to death by her, with a sneering rebuke of "Cannibal!" Fade to credits.

A much more cannibal-positive film treatment is to be found in Eating Raoul.
 

Don't you hate it when a perfectly good plan to reuse cooked and spoiling meat goes awry?

In Response to deerboy (#26347):

Don't you hate it when a perfectly good plan to reuse cooked and spoiling meat goes awry?

So you've worked at Wendy's, then.

In Response to zamphir (#26329):

...I used to ask people that if they were irrevocably caught by cannibals, and were bound to be cooked and eaten...In what manner would they like to be prepared?

I think I'd like to be prepared as you would any kind of fowl and I would not like to be de-skinned - as I would hope we all know that the skin is what holds the juices in. I'd then like to have my insides coated with a garlic, clove, lemon grass and butter paste. And as I'm being rosted over the fire rotisseri style, I'd like to be continuously basted with a garlic, mint, and butter mixture. That sounds pretty good. Either that or deep fried with assorted spices - maybe use the same combination as above. I know I'd hate to be served in a stew or chili for that matter.

And in responce for the dicussion about what should happen to your corpse:

I'd like to be cremated and have my ashes spread over Sedona, AZ. Whoever is to do the "spreading" will take a pink jeep tour and at the highest point of the trip will release my ashes - and hopefully they don't pull a Sobchak [imdb.com].

In Response to GeminiCrash (#26364):

I'm just going to quit making links.

In Response to Deathalicious (#26325):

More on-topic: do you taste good?

I dunno, I'd have to ask.

... but do you really want to know?

In Response to Teledildonix (#26309):

Cannibals are dirty. They carry diseases. =Þ

(Like Kuru or CJD)