the robot-mokey-pirate shirt
caused this situation that i am in right now

in bed
with a lesbian

jon, phillip
i love you

Time to flip a coin.... tel* or kornz.

Wow it landed on it's side.

Just don't go all Holden McNeil on her.

And really, I'm sure it's not the shirt.

If it was the shirt... she'd make you leave it on.

In Response to zamphir (#24070):

Maybe he when he took it off she witnessed his hypnotic nipples. Could be he could possibly have saved money and just not bought any shirts.

In Response to tor (#24069):

What do you mean? What is the coin-flip determining? How are you connecting me to Kornz?

I wear my many Goats apparel all the time, but i always remove them before doing anything that might cause them to be soiled. They are far too cool to subject to damage/spooge.

Of course, if they were damaged, i would just replace them with even more cool Goats apparel. But some of these were limited-release items, which can not be readily replaced. So, as i said: first remove valuable gear, then engage in stickiness.

We really don't have to hear about it each time you get laid.

And if she's in bed with you and you're typing on the computer, you're the biggest fucking moron ever.

From now on, I'm just going to avoid discussions posted by kornz that have "shirt" in the subject.

...

Yes, it has been a while, but by choice, okay?

In Response to Deathalicious (#24100):

Yes, it has been a while, but by choice, okay?

That's what they all say.

In Response to Deathalicious (#24100):

look, i only post the ones that deal with the shirt!

In Response to kornz (#24111):

Although Deathalicious may be correct that we don't need to hear about it, some of us are not prudish enough to be bothered, and in fact are quite happy to hear you expound on such joyful topics. Shirts from Goats.com, and sex with friendly people (who may have good taste indeed)... these are pleasant subjects, and i say you should feel free to share your thoughts and experiences whenever you like.

Of course, you'll probably have to deal with more of those sorts of ojbections, but don't let them discourage you. I suspect that most prudes actually secretly get lots of satisfaction these discussions, they're just pretending to be bothered because they were trained to put up this phony front. They really want to hear, they just don't want to admit that they want to hear, because somebody told them it was "bad", and they were gullible enough to believe that nonsense despite the possibility of first- and second-hand evidence to soundly disprove such falsehoods.

Of course, Deathalicious was probably just joking, only teasing playfully, and maybe isn't a prude at all. If so, please disregard any of the previous superfluous remarks.

Oh, whom am i kidding? This post was longer than two paragraphs, so most everybody probably already skipped over it anyway. Sigh. Dildo! [That was for Tor. [goats.com]]

In Response to Teledildonix (#24113):

You missed the point, she is a lesbian, and so the hottest of all things hot, hence kornz must brag.

The fact that (if my sister and her friends, my neighbour, all the dykes I have met working bars etc) are anything to go by, lesbians are not attractive to hetero males _because_ of the whole cheap arse male porno thing of lesbians being blonde skinny girls with tits and long findernails (think about it... yep there it is).

This to me degrades el hombre kornz. He shows he is yet another tool that wants males to fall into the marketing bullshit that has pretty much fucked over the majority of modern day females.

You don't do what you want, you do what other people will think you are cool for doing.

In the 18th century they didn't have marketing of skinny blondes (they die in childbirth) and anorexia was pretty much unheard of also.

They did have homosexuals because that is just fun.

However even the grand champion of gayness did not define himself via his sexuality. He just wrote kick arse plays. oh and was witty as all get out.

Defining yourself by the people you have fucked or want to fuck is, IMNSHFO, degrading yourself.

In Response to tor (#24120):

So are you gay? and is Dan a boy?

In Response to Teledildonix (#24113):

I can never tell if you consistently miss the joke, or just consistently pretend to miss the joke for your own mysterious but no doubt nefarious purposes.

I initially operated under the latter assumption, but more and more I'm beginning to think it's the former.

In Response to tynic (#24122):

Honestly, it's usually the former (i am as stupid as any other person) because i don't really derive any pleasure from manipulating other people's feelings and reactions.

In this particular case, i just didn't understand the part about the lesbianism. You see, the flaw in Tor's logic is where he discusses "the hottest of all things hot"... for somebody (such as myself) who has zero sexual interest in people who are not of the same gender, references to "hot lesbians" go completely over my head. But that doesn't make me an ididot, does it? It's not like i expect Tor and Kornz to understand or have any interest in things which i mention that imply or discuss the hotness of the hottest-of-hot men.

Geeeez... i'm truly sorry for being the worst wet blanket to ever smother your fun. Despite the nice way Deerboy and you (and others) have repeatedly welcomed me back, although i've probably been quite insufferable, i have come to realize that nobody is benefitting from my input. And the answers you people provide to my questions aren't really helping me to become any smarter. It's probably not because of the quality of your answers, it's probably the sheer stupidity which i must now admit is an undeniable part of my character. I'll stop bugging you, so you can devote your time and efforts to people who won't waste them.

In Response to unFalln (#24121):

oh man everything I have typed here will get me in trouble.

insert witticism here.

Then remove and replace with offensiveness.

then remove because I am a weak willed little girl.

(the reply had arse and boobs and holes in it originally)

In Response to Teledildonix (#24126):

read a whole fucking post.

"The hottest of hot" obviously was sarcastic given the tone of the rest of my post you knob. I mean for fucks sake.

Oh and plus an insult is an insult, regardless of the term, so when I call you a knob I am not saying "jeez I think tel* has such a huge penis that it is turning me on" instead I mean you are a knob.

In Response to tor (#24128):

weak willed little girl

Oh, so you're a lesbian, then?

In Response to unFalln (#24131):

yup a big fat hairy and sweaty one.

Although I have some fairly feminine mannerisms.

In Response to tor (#24129):

I'm sorry, Tor. Really, i mean it, i very much regret not catching your subtleties or witticisms. But you don't always say things in a way which is automatically intelligible. I try to read between the lines, but i often read something different from what you might have intended.

No matter whether i try to be light or heavy, you wind up getting riled. Maybe i'm wrong, but i think you are just determined to have a hissy, no matter what i do or don't say. But i'm obviously an idiot, because i keep on saying things. I should have learned ages ago to just back off. I apologize for continuing to frustrate or irritate you. I don't wish to cause people to feel upset, even people like you who put so much effort into insulting me just because you see me as intellectually inferior. If it would make you happier, i'll totally leave you alone. Nothing i do seems like it will ever be part of anything you appreciate here, so i'll just stop trying, stop bothering you with my attempts, and give you some peace.

I'm really very sorry for not understanding that i should have figured this out months ago. Hell, i should have figured this out during the very first month that i started participating in these discussions with you (and others). I'm truly remorseful, and i can't undo the two years of stupidity that i've wrought, but i can at least do no further harm.

I really want you and your friends to enjoy yourselves without intrusion. Please try to accept my sincere apology. I hope that in the future, all your efforts to get people to wise up are applied to those who will actually appreciate them, and i won't make you waste any more on me.

In Response to Teledildonix (#24138):

you think I am here proseletysing? Hell no, I am here to piss people off, that is my aim in life.

Pissed off people say better things.

Can you imagine a forum without you, deerboy, me, unfalln, albionsoft etc (sorry for other bastards, brain dead, heavily drunk, can't remember shit)?

Man that would be a a fucking bore.

I don't want to be your friend, I already have all the friends I need, none.

However pussy arse fuckwits that constantly claim to be aware of their time wasting and promise to leave will never receive a "don't go" from me. All they will receive is derision, if you want to go, go. It's easy.

My mother tries to use these tactics on me constantly, she is older than you and better at it. It still doesn't work, don't you be tring to beat my mum she'll come and stomp you (in a guilt ridden "it's all my fault" non violent way).

In Response to tor (#24142):

I don't know whether i was really trying to be your friend. I was only hoping to get along.

I wasn't looking for you to say "don't go". I was apologizing sincerely. I was really sorry because i thought i was making too much trouble-- for you, and for other people. I think i'm at least partially responsible for driving Graham away. I know i've caused Jon to give up in disgust, and probably seemed like a terrible pain in the ass. I know several other people ran out of patience repeatedly, and i basically understand why. But i didn't learn my lesson, i stupidly kept returning to the same sorts of situations. It's not that people aren't sufficiently tolerant, it's that i am terribly slow to learn sometimes, and i'm embarassed to admit that i keep repeating some of my mistakes, so i really want to change this.

I wasn't looking for sympathy (it has little or no value to me, in this instance) and i wasn't trying to cause you to react in any specific way, nor to have any particular feelings as a result. I was attempting to be honest, that's all.

I feel like i should have made many different choices along the way; but since i can't undo the past, i can only attempt to start doing better now.

Really, truly, honestly, i'm thankful that you put up with so much for so long. It has been interesting, entertaining, sometimes enlightening (for me), and sometimes even good exercise for my mind. Maybe i've been here for a few of the same reasons as you. I hope you'll find that some good somehow came from our interactions. I appreciate all the effort that you and anybody else has made. It wasn't completely wasted. I'll use my experiences here to improve my conduct elsewhere.

In Response to Teledildonix (#24148):

Stop being a self-loathing, whiney fuckface.

I say we parse out what Kornz wrote.

in bed
with a lesbian

Ok. What's going on? Are you watching tv? Reading Muscle Fitness magazine together? You're leaving it up to our minds to fill in details.

jon, phillip
i love you

Kornz professing his love for Jon & Phillip. Is this friendship, a coming out, or appreciation of? Again, leaving it up to our minds.

If it is a sexual score I really don't care either. Your choices of sexual partners hasn't been very stable.

who ever said sex?

In Response to kornz (#24184):

Embarrassed a bit now and claiming that you weren't making insinuations?

In Response to kornz (#24184):

who ever said sex?

So she DID make you leave the shirt on.

In Response to zamphir (#24187):

So she DID make you leave the shirt on.

No, she made him take it off.

She ate out the monkey while kornz sat at the corner of the bed like a sad little boy.