Everything has got a bit serious, argumentative and abusive recently. So what we need is a messageboard game. The thing about the Internet is that there is no way to know what someone is really like. I mean, for all you know, I could be a PE teacher, Telstar could be a Mormon with six wives and forty children, and Jon could have boring hair and be good with women.

So the game is this : Pick a boardmember, and invent their reality. There's a few rules :

1. Your answer must be wildly inaccurate, and preferably funny. Not one element of truth (other than the board name, and some real basics) should enter into it.

2. This is supposed to be fun. Don't be offensive, don't try to hurt people, and don't use it as an excuse to settle scores.

3. Feel free to expand on someone else's answer, but no contradiction. If you have a great idea that doesn't fit one of the new truths already in the thread, pick a new victim and apply it to them. So if someone has already said that I'm a small, green space-frog from Alpha Centuari, you can't contradict that. You'll need to turn someone else into your Russian werewolf spy.

4. There is no rule 4. There is also no prize.

5. Anonymous posters will be mocked unmercifully. No difference there then.

Have fun!

Cheers,
Graham