I just got emailed a good one:

If i asked you to have sex with me, would your answer be the same as your answer to this question?

Clever pick-ups are few and far between. Ever heard one?

I had a prof who was from Ghana and he shared a pick up line with us that he thought was particularly clever. "Hey baby, I'm a cool guy and you're a cool girl so why don't we go someplace and chill."
Dr. Kwadwo Okrah

"Baby, your dady must have been an intergalactic gynecologist, because your vagina is OUTTA THIS WORLD!"

In Response to Evander (#13415):

Man, you must hit some pretty sweet bars. Or do you just like lying face up on the sticky, sticky floor?

In Response to tynic (#13416):

Perhaps he wears panties.

Well, the one liked the best was back when I was pure and untainted by evil. I was in a bar and had quaffed quite a few quarter drafts. I told the girl sitting next to me she should leave with me, and when she asked why, I told her, "Because I am the nicest guy you'll ever meet!" and I gave her a big, friendly, drunken smile. She laughed, and smiled back. Naively, I thought she probably would have left if her more sober friends wouldn't have stopped her. That night always amused the hell out of me later--well, except for the throwing up in the bathroom and passing out. No, wait, that's funny too.

Of course, you all might like the story of my wife and I getting together, but I think I'll save that for another time. Perhaps if you meet us in person, she loooves to tell that story.

"Silly me. I overbaked."

Generally, though, I let the women pick me up.

Seeing as I'm married, and to a lawyer, it must be a good strategy.

My friend Aric told me he actually heard some dodgy ass guy use the following one:
Guy (to Girl): Do you have mice in your panties?
Girl (confused): No...
Guy: Cause you must have a mighty fine pussy in there.

Then there are the usual classics:
Guy (to girl): Your eyes are like screwdrivers... One look from you and my nuts tighten

And of course my favourite:
"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

that [article of clothing] is very becoming on you...of course if i was on you, i'd be cumming too.

yeah, i always liked that one...

my absolute favourite is a little complicated though...it involves actions, and fish.

In Response to snipergirl (#13457):

Screwdrivers tighten screws. Spanners tighten nuts.

I had a friend nicknamed Spanner for that exact reason.

In Response to tynic (#13467):

Screwdrivers tighten screws

So, Screwdriver as a nickname for a guy, then?

Cause screwdrivers also loosen screws.

this was said to a friend of mine by a 12 year old boy;

"you have an ass like a teardrop"

In Response to kornz (#13477):

So ... wet and salty?

In Response to tynic (#13478):

So ... wet and salty?

wooooofff!

In Response to goat_girl (#13458):

my absolute favourite is a little complicated though...it involves actions, and fish

Is that the one from that Irish movie with the cow [imdb.com] where he gets into the car and says "You see these two fish?"

I dig that.

In Response to tynic (#13478):

i think shaped-like

In Response to tynic (#13467):

arg jeez damn those midnight posts... i did mean spanners!!

really i did!!

My uncle used to tell me his favorite pickup line was "How Much?"

Probably the only line you're gauruteed results with if you ask enough people.

"Hi, I've lost my puppy. Here's a picture, will you help me find it?"

In Response to daubergoat (#13491):

i'm afraid not...i've never heard of that movie till today. i picked this one up from a friend, and lord knows where she got it.

After recently re-watching The Road to Wellville [imdb.com], particularly the scene wherein Bridget Fonda seeks 'therapeutic massage', i think i like: "Just relax and trust me. I'm a doctor."

In Response to Phobos (#13706):

I'm afraid to ask, but... what exactly do you show her a picture of?

"Excuse me, is this your $100 bill?"

To quote Margaret Cho:
"Hi, Stick it in."

In Response to mea37 (#13738):

Generally... a puppy... but you can feel free to show them a picture of whatever you'd like.

I was making a reference to how child molesters ask kids to come help them find their puppy... but I suppose you weren't prepared for that.

As I usually don't (read: never) use pick-up lines.. I couldn't think of anything that would apply and be funny besides a pedophilia reference.

In Response to delight (#13743):

Diane, i think you are destined to be a very... popular woman. ;-)