What makes a presidential candidate tick? We may never know, but studying his ancestry may give us a clue. This scientific diagram of Paramecium Barackobamarelia comes on a navy t-shirt and is guaranteed to change the way you dress.

Pre-order yours before Wednesday, May 21 and we'll donate a buck of the purchase price of your shirt to the candidate of our choice.

The first registered user who can name all ten dead celebrities in Monday's strip in the comments below gets a free t-shirt or pint glass.

UPDATE: Brasknote has won the competition! Mr. Brasknote, please to be emailing me your preferred prize, size and mailing address.

Due to popular demand we're going to do a run of Doughboy t-shirts. They're available in three different shades of green until Friday, May 16th, when we'll place the first order to the printer based on your pre-orders. At least two of the colors will be discontinued at that point, so if you're particularly choosy about your (soylent) greens be sure to order now.

Fish Pints are now available for pre-order! Recommended for anyone who's ever wanted a goldfish in their beverage.

We should be getting the first batch of these in stock in about three weeks, so reserve yours today. Please keep in mind that it may take four or five weeks to get your pint glasses.

As always, these silkscreened pints are made from high-quality dishwasher-safe glass and hold 16oz of the liquid of your choosing.

One of the best ways to put off spring lawn maintenance at your posh country estate is to draw comics about spring lawn maintenance. For me, anyway. Your mileage may vary.

I'm hoping that by the end of this storyline I will be a kung-fu master of foliage, I am determined to be able to throw off a monocotyledon jungle scene like I had it up my sleeve all along.

The last time we saw Phillip and friends they were about to be blowed up real good by a crazy broccoli guy and his fusion grenade. Good thing that Machine Elf Corporation Port-A-Portal in the first stall was in working condition, or they'd all be out of order. Eh? Eh?

Let's say, hypothetically, that all the strips I've done since December 2003 comprise three volumes of a six or seven volume tale. In this hypothetical scenario, Lost would probably be the opener for volume 4. I've been wanting to make some changes to the Goats font for some time now, and this seemed as good a time as any. But who could I turn to for help?

Webcomics superhero Kris Straub was all up in that font, and I think you'll agree that it's a whole lot more legible than it was while still retaining much of the character of the old font. The fact that I haven't gotten any hate mail yet leads me to believe it was a fairly painless transition for most of you.

We'll be making tweaks to the font in the upcoming days, adding variants and alternate caps characters and that sort of thing, but let us know if you like what you see! If you don't like it, whisper your cruel words into a nearby pillow.

Most of you are probably familiar with Kris' Starslip Crisis, which is epic scifi comedy that any sane Goats reader is also reading on a daily basis. Kris is also one of the guys behind How To Make Webcomics. Brad Guigar gave me a copy at NYCC the other week but I haven't gotten a chance to read it yet; I'll post my thoughts here when I do, but all indications so far are that it's quite excellent.

I totally forgot to mention that we'll be at the New York Comic Con this weekend. Jeff says we're at booth 2731 and I have no reason not to believe him.

Firstly, Litany of Beer Pint Glasses are still on sale! I'm going to place the first order tonight so if you want to make sure you get one of this first batch please place your order today.

Secondly, Jerrell is back! Jerrell was a programer at Phillip's highly theoretical place of employment. It's been a few years since we've seen him and his experiences seem to have disturbed him somewhat.

You may recall his adventures gnawing on robots, watching sex dwarves and koalas duke it out, eating hamsters, gnawing on zombies, meeting Johnny Cash,hacking the internets and more.

Ask and ye shall receive: Litany of Beer Pint Glasses are now available for pre-order in the store. The full text of the Litany is right there on your glass should inebriation make it difficult to remember. Talk aout convenient!

We should be getting the first batch of these in stock in about three weeks, so reserve yours today. Please keep in mind that it may take four or five weeks to get your pint glasses.

As always, these silkscreened pints are made from high-quality dishwasher-safe glass and hold 16oz of the liquid of your choosing.